Hey You
by Darkness Be Mine
Summary: Blaine Anderson knew that texting could be considered cheating; memories of the emotions he'd experienced upon finding flirtatious texts between Kurt and Chandler still very clear in his mind. He knew it so well, but still found it utterly impossible to resist a reply to a quick, simple text from an old friend.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Hi all. This was just an idea that I found floating around in my head the other night, so I thought I'd throw it up in the hopes of getting a little feedback. If you'd be interested in more on this one, let me know and I'll look into developing it further.

Anyway, please enjoy...

* * *

He didn't know how or why it happened that first time, or what it was that had inspired it in the other guy, but one morning Blaine woke to find the light on his phone blinking at him, indicating he'd received a text.

Still half asleep from a cram session the night before, Blaine lifted the phone, staring blearily at the screen until his eyes focussed on the name – a rather long one – the letters slowly coming together to spell a name. A familiar one too.

 _Sebastian_.

He automatically glanced down at the boy asleep at his side, knowing exactly how Kurt felt about the other guy; the handsome now-former Warbler giving him all kinds of grief in the past. If Kurt had a sensitive spot, Sebastian knew exactly where to find it.

Hesitating, for a long moment Blaine just stared at the name on the screen of his phone, wondering how he should handle the situation. He hadn't heard from the other guy since his engagement and although they'd been good friends once upon a time, things had cooled off significantly between the two of them after the slushie incident.

Not that he was in any way holding a grudge. It was hard to do so after hearing Sebastian's heartfelt apology – not something he'd seen coming from the arrogant, usually unrepentant guy. Sebastian's confidence in himself and his opinions generally led him to be less inclined towards apologies. Indeed, that was probably the only one Blaine had ever heard him make.

Surprisingly, it had been a great one.

Despite his hesitation, after another quick glance at Kurt to make sure he was asleep, Blaine unlocked his phone and read the message.

Unassuming; simple. Sebastian obviously didn't have a lot to say.

 _Sebastian (3:28am): Hey you._

After another quick glance at Kurt – he knew how the other boy would feel about him being in contact with Sebastian – Blaine quickly typed a reply.

 _Blaine (5:42am): You're up early._

He didn't hear straight back. Honestly, he didn't expect to given that it had been so long since Sebastian had sent his message. Still, despite that fact he received a reply in what felt like record time. Obviously Sebastian wasn't overly distracted by whatever he was doing at that moment.

Not surprising, given the hour.

 _Sebastian (5:53am): *laughs* What're you talking about early? I sent that after 9am my time. What're YOU doing up so early?_

Blaine frowned at that, wondering where Sebastian was that the time was so different. He wanted to ask – meant to in fact – but was distracted by the memory of Sebastian's laugh. Oddly enough he could still picture it though he hadn't seen it in person for a while.

 _Blaine (5:54am): Dunno. Just woke up. I don't sleep much these days._

Now what in God's name had possessed him to write that?

 _Sebastian (5:54am): Something on your mind?_

He didn't want to go into it, certainly not with Sebastian Smythe who'd always been so damn opinionated in the past where Kurt was concerned. Never supportive of the relationship between him and his fiancé – the one exception being his rather elaborate proposal – Sebastian was probably one of the last people from whom he wanted advice.

So he hurried to reassure him.

 _Blaine (5:55am): It's nothing. You wouldn't understand._

Okay. That hadn't come out quite as reassuring as he'd hoped. It still spoke of issues... just issues he didn't want to discuss.

 _Sebastian (5:56am): Relationship drama, huh?_

For a long moment Blaine just stared at his phone in surprise, wondering exactly how it was that Sebastian had guessed so accurately. Did he just know him too well? Was he that predictable?

 _Blaine (6:01am): How'd you know?_

 _Sebastian (6:03am): Something I wouldn't understand? What else would it be? I know a hell of a lot about a hell of a lot, but relationships are my kryptonite._

He couldn't help his laugh at that, then quickly shot a glance at Kurt as the other stirred beside him at the sound. Soon enough his fiancé settled back into a deep slumber and Blaine turned back to his phone.

 _Blaine (6:04am): *laughs* I remember well. You're not so bad at making others' relationships more complicated, but helping with them isn't exactly your strong suit._

There was a long pause after that, Blaine waiting for his reply more anxiously than he might have thought possible, and he wondered for a moment if he'd offended the former Warbler.

 _Sebastian (6:09am): Tell me about it. You know Nick still won't speak to me after I tried to help with his._

 _Blaine (6:09am): Oh God. What happened?_

 _Sebastian (6:11am): To hear him tell it, I completely sabotaged it. Stole his girl. I think he's being ridiculous. There's no way I'd pass as straight, right?_

Blaine wanted to laugh again but with no desire to wake the man sleeping beside him he suppressed the urge.

 _Blaine (6:12am): Not to me, but my gaydar is pretty flawless._

 _Sebastian (6:12am): Everything about you is flawless, Killer. Tell me something I don't know._

Embarrassed by the compliment, Blaine redirected the conversation back to their friend.

 _Blaine (6:13am): So what happened? With Nick's girl, I mean._

Once again the wait for his text was longer and when Blaine received the short reply, he found himself wondering exactly how much editing had been done to give him the brief answer; claiming innocence.

 _Sebastian (6:17am): Don't really know. We were just chatting._

 _Blaine (6:17am): Chatting about what?_

 _Sebastian (6:17am): Chatting about sex._

As much as he professed to know, it was clear that Sebastian was incredibly clueless about some things.

 _Blaine (6:18am): God, Bas! She probably thought you were hitting on her._

The nickname from their brief time as friends slipped in there automatically, easier than he might have expected given the state of their friendship when they'd last spoken.

 _Sebastian (6:18am): Not likely. Even if I WAS interested in women I wouldn't go there._

Curiosity got the better of him.

 _Blaine (6:18am): Why not?_

 _Sebastian (6:19am): The giggling, Killer. Cannot STAND the giggling._

Blaine wanted to laugh again, shaking his head in amusement.

 _Blaine (6:19am): God you're picky._

 _Sebastian (6:20am): Tell me about it. Why do YOU think I went to Paris for school? Not for the extracurriculars, let me tell you._

Ah! Paris! Of course he'd go back to Paris for school. Whenever they'd spoken of Paris, Sebastian had always had this almost wistful note in his voice. That or he was comparing his life in Ohio unfavourably to the one he'd had in the famous European city.

 _Blaine (6:20am): How is that?_

 _Sebastian (6:20am): The school or the guys?_

 _Blaine (6:21am): Both?_

 _Sebastian (6:22am): School is fine. Nothing too challenging. It does have the bonus of pissing off my father, so I'm calling it a win. As for the guys... if you're in the market for a good time and not a whole lot else I would definitely recommend Paris._

Blaine had to smile at the very typical response from Sebastian Smythe. It was clear that some things at least would never change.

 _Blaine (6:23am): Somehow I feel my fiancé would have an issue with any investigation into one night stands with French men._

 _Sebastian (6:23am): *laughs* Probably. Kurt never did so well with a little healthy competition._

Blaine wanted to laugh out loud.

 _Blaine (6:24am): Healthy competition? You basically made it your mission to torment the guy. And then that thing with the slushie..._

 _Sebastian (6:25am): If you remember, I already apologised for that. Geez Killer... way to hold a grudge._

 _Sebastian (6:25am): And for the record I was aiming for Kurt's clothes, not his face. NOT my fault you dived right into the thing._

He couldn't help the smile at Sebastian's replies, coming one after the other, and could almost picture the mischievous smile on the other's face. It was in that moment, picturing that smile, that he realised he genuinely missed his friend.

As he was composing his reply, he realised he hadn't replied fast enough for Sebastian's taste because before he had a chance to hit send, another text came in.

 _Sebastian (6:27am): Does he still wear those RIDICULOUS outfits?_

For a moment he stared at the short message, mouth open in surprise. His reply came quickly.

 _Blaine (6:27am): Sebastian!_

 _Sebastian (6:28am): What? I'm serious. I'm really not surprised he was bullied in high school dressing like he did._

His reply to that was quick, his brows pulling together over his nose as he tapped out his reply.

 _Blaine (6:28am): Sebastian, you can't SAY things like that!_

 _Sebastian (6:29am): Why not? I'm not condoning what they did, I'm just saying... High school kids can be assholes. He MUST have known that. Why make yourself a target?_

 _Blaine (6:29am): He wasn't trying to make himself a target! He was expressing his individuality!_

 _Sebastian (6:30am): Well then he chose the wrong soapbox in the wrong street. I agree that kids shouldn't be targeted for their sexual preferences BELIEVE me, but the U.S. has never been overly progressive in that sense. He made himself a target and made it an easy decision for those Neanderthals who were looking for one. You can express your individuality without rubbing it in the faces of everyone around you._

He wanted to reply, to defend Kurt from the accusations Sebastian threw at his fiancé, but the alarm on Kurt's bedside was buzzing; the boy beside him beginning to stir.

Locking the phone, placing it face-down on the table beside him, Blaine pulled the blankets back up around his chin and let himself drift back into an uneasy sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Hi everyone. I know it's been a while since I posted the last one... apologies. Sometimes I'm not the best at keeping these things up to date. I hope you all enjoy this. As always, please let me know if you liked it. I love to hear from you guys. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I hope I don't disappoint you guys with this new one.

someone: Just an FYI... you don't suck at writing reviews. I really enjoyed getting yours and hope your night got a little better. France though... kinda jealous! I've only ever been there once and we were only driving through.

Darrinia: Hello again! I remember you from my previous fic! Thanks for taking a chance on this one. The separate continents thing is definitely a pretty big hurdle... not insurmountable though.

Guest: Thanks very much. :)

dreamwindjill: As requested... more of the story. Hopefully I don't disappoint you with where I take it.

Ana: Thanks! :)

Guest: I will admit that I have bits and pieces of their texts and interactions written out... I've been writing them down as they come to me. The trick is making them all connect smoothly... wish me luck :P

Kuro Neko Kyoko: Oh I agree. I loved the interactions, though yes the slushie thing was a bit of a downer for their relationship. The guy might've had a shot if he'd not screwed up... but oh well. That's what fanfiction is for, right? The confidence building thing was the bit I loved the most about them. Kurt wasn't so good with the compliments...

Anyway... enough from me. Please enjoy chapter 2.

* * *

If he expected an apology for the blunt opinions regarding Kurt's troubles in high school, nothing was forthcoming. For the entire week following he expected every minute to receive another text – Sebastian had never in the past been able to keep his thoughts to himself – but he didn't hear from the handsome young man again, and it was made very clear that he shouldn't expect a follow up to the other guy's comment.

As always, Sebastian Smythe apologised for nothing. It made him wonder if what he'd said about turning over a new leaf was in any way accurate.

Still, despite his irritation over Sebastian's accusations, he found himself continuing to miss the former-Warbler, that brief conversation enough to make him realise how much he enjoyed the sharp back and forth with the guy. He didn't pull his punches – he said exactly what he was thinking and wasn't about holding back to spare people's feelings. For the longest time he'd seen it as a flaw of the other boy, but now...

Well he missed it.

 _Blaine (7:01pm): So what happened with Nick's girl in the end? Why's he so mad? You never said._

He didn't know what he expected. Maybe for Sebastian to message him right back. Did he expect the guy to be waiting by the phone for his text when past history suggested Blaine wasn't likely to reply? Did he assume Sebastian still liked him like he had in high school? That he was still trying to get in his pants after all this time? Maybe he'd just texted because he was bored and couldn't find something – or someone – better to do.

Maybe he even...

 _Sebastian (7:09pm): She turned him down and then asked me for drinks. Had to break the news that I'd much rather sleep with Nick than with her._

Blaine found himself smiling at the reply, shaking his head in amused dismay.

 _Blaine (7:10pm): When was this?_

 _Sebastian (7:11pm): Over the summer, before I left for Paris. Guy still won't return my calls. Think he's taking it a little bit too personally if you ask me._

 _Blaine (7:11pm): That you stole his girl? I'd be pissed if it was me._

 _Sebastian (7:12pm): Christ, I didn't STEAL her. She totally brought up the sex thing and I happen to know a good deal about the subject so I was offering my honest opinions. Not my fault she took it the wrong way._

 _Blaine (7:12pm): *laughs* I'm just messing with you. I'm sure Nick will live. Probably got plenty of interest from the girls in California._

There was a brief pause then, Sebastian obviously taking a moment to compose his thoughts.

 _Sebastian (7:15pm): He WAS always a hit with the ladies. Not too surprised. I would've done him too had he been at all keen. That guy is 100% straight, in case you were ever wondering._

 _Blaine (7:16pm): *nods* Briefly. When we first met._

 _Sebastian (7:16pm): Didn't set off the gaydar, huh?_

 _Blaine (7:16pm): Nope. Not even a blip._

He paused a moment then, a frown pulling at his brows as he considered his next message; hesitant. He was never sure what kind of response he might get from the other guy; sometimes Sebastian could be a real ass without realising it.

 _Blaine (7:22pm): Hey can I ask you a question?_

 _Sebastian (7:22pm): Besides that one you mean? ;) Sure. As long as you make it a quick one. Got a lecture first thing tomorrow and it's already after 1am here._

 _Blaine (7:23pm): Oh... shit. Sorry. I didn't realise. Go to sleep. It's totally not important._

 _Sebastian (7:24pm): I don't believe you. At all. But I'm so wiped I'm going to pretend to. I'll hit you up in the morning, Killer. Keep on keeping on, as they say. Goodnight._

 _Blaine (7:24pm): Goodnight, Bas._

Honestly, it was probably for the best. The last thing he needed to do was air his issues with Sebastian. As the guy had said the previous day, he had very little insight when it came to serious relationships, and his relationship with Kurt these days was nothing _but_ serious.

Which was part of the problem.

Still... Sebastian had never been overly sensitive when it came to his relationship with Kurt, his own interests often getting in the way of any true objectivity. Maybe now, with an ocean and several hours between them Sebastian's opinions might remain more... Okay probably not. He knew it wasn't a good idea to air them with Sebastian. Knew the kind of response he was likely to get from the other guy, but at the same time... who else could he talk to? All of his friends were Kurt's friends too, to the point where, should he tell one of them how he was feeling he didn't know where their loyalties might lie. He didn't know whether they'd turn around and tell Kurt what he was thinking the moment he was done talking to them.

Okay so he could probably trust Sam, but at the same time Sam was so very close to the problem. Sebastian, as removed as he was, felt like the safer option; though that might be the very first – and probably the last – time that Sebastian Smythe was ever referred to as the 'safe' choice.

Sighing, he locked his phone again, putting it back in his bag and rubbing his eyes tiredly. It had been a long day, and Kurt still wasn't home. It was hard not to be aware that his days in the theatre were getting longer and longer; what had once been simply an hour after school was now becoming later and later in the evening. He wouldn't be surprised if one of these days Kurt didn't come home at all. And even if he did, it wouldn't be the first time he'd eaten dinner alone.

He honestly didn't know what to do; didn't know what it was that he'd done wrong. He remembered all those times together in high school. He'd thought that nothing could ever shake them; that nothing could ever tear them apart. Sebastian had tried; he'd done his very best to split the two of them up, but all he'd managed to do was make them even stronger together than before.

So what had he done? Why was it that they couldn't be civil to one another for an entire evening? What was it that made Kurt not want to spend his time with him anymore? _Was_ it something he'd said? Or done? Or had his time alone in New York changed his friend – his fiancé – that much? Was he simply just not enough for Kurt like he used to be?

The answers to all these questions eluded him – as they always did – and he began to wonder why he even bothered asking them anymore. He knew something had to change; knew that someone had to do something soon or they'd lose everything they'd once had. Everything they'd worked so hard for.

If one of them didn't do something soon, it might all have been for nothing.

* * *

 _Sebastian (4:17am): Okay. I'm awake again now. What's up, Killer?_

The question was sitting there, blinking away on his phone, innocent as you please but the sight of it filled him with dread. He knew he shouldn't have brought it up with Sebastian. Of course the guy would wonder about it... was probably wondering too why he'd wanted to ask _him_ of all people.

He hurried to reassure the guy.

 _Blaine (6:04am): Oh... that. No, it was nothing._

Given the time since Sebastian had sent his message, Blaine didn't expect Sebastian's reply to be immediate, but apparently the other guy was waiting by the phone, his response coming in only seconds after he sent his own.

 _Sebastian (6:04am): If it was nothing you wouldn't have brought it up in the first place._

The guy had a good point. It was definitely something he wanted to discuss, but should he really be raising this with a guy who couldn't _stand_ Kurt. He knew the guy's opinion of his fiancé, and knew that he'd likely have a hard time being objective about it.

 _Sebastian (6:09am): Hey... if you don't want to tell me anymore that's fine, okay? But it's not nothing and you and I both know it._

Blaine sighed, reading through Sebastian's comment again before glancing briefly at the empty side of the bed; Kurt had never come home the night before. Wondering where the guy had spent the night, Blaine typed his reply quickly, hitting 'send' before he could think better of it.

 _Blaine (6:13am): I don't think it's working._

 _Sebastian (6:13am): Hello again. You don't think WHAT'S working?_

 _Blaine (6:13am): Kurt and I. This whole engagement thing._

He waited, somewhat impatient for Sebastian's reply but nothing came. He wondered if the question had driven his friend away. He _knew_ that Sebastian didn't care much for Kurt, and knew how he'd reacted in the past to mention of the other guy. He wondered if, upon seeing his question, he'd simply walked away; dropped any and all interest in the conversation.

He wouldn't blame the guy, of course. It was hardly fair dragging him into it at all, given how Sebastian had done his damndest to get him; lost his conquest to the guy in question.

Maybe that still stung a little.

Eventually of course he couldn't wait any longer; he had to know what the other guy was thinking and prodded the guy.

 _Blaine (6:24am): Bas?_

The reply came quickly.

 _Sebastian (6:25am): Sorry... trying to formulate a way to say "and why the fuck are you asking MY advice" but in a nice, unaggressive way._

Surprisingly, the comment made him smile. It was so Sebastian.

 _Blaine (6:25am): *laughs* Any luck?_

 _Sebastian (6:25am): Nope._

 _Sebastian (6:26am): So... Why the fuck are you asking my advice?_

Which was exactly the question he'd been asking himself from the very beginning.

 _Blaine (6:28am): An objective opinion?_

 _Sebastian (6:28am): *laughs* I'm hardly objective where you two are concerned._

Exactly what he'd been thinking, but at the same time Sebastian had a wider view of the world and what it was like than he ever had. Wise beyond his years despite his inability to commit, Sebastian knew more about how the world worked than he might ever learn.

 _Blaine (6:29am): As objective as I can get without asking a complete stranger?_

 _Sebastian (6:30am): Still nope. I really don't like that gay-faced schmuck or how he treats you. So my opinion isn't going to be objective AT ALL._

 _Blaine (6:30am): Try?_

The pause this time was only brief, and the replies, coming quickly one after the other, made Blaine smile.

 _Sebastian (6:31am): Try, huh? Okay... How's this... *clears throat*_

 _Sebastian (6:31am): And why don't you think it's working?_

 _Blaine (6:31am): That's good._

 _Blaine (6:32am): And because we fight. All the time. About stupid little things that shouldn't matter._

There was another brief pause as Sebastian composed his reply.

 _Sebastian (6:34am): All couples fight, Blaine (I'm assuming here... but it's what I've heard)_

 _Blaine (6:35am): *laughs* I've heard the same. But they_ _'re_ _not supposed to fight all the time. With Kurt and I it's ALL the time._

 _Sebastian (6:35am): Hmm... objective, objective... Maybe it's just a phase you guys are going through?_

Laughing quietly at the guy's response, Blaine decided to satisfy his curiosity about something that had bothered him for a while now.

 _Blaine (6:37am): Okay... sidebar for a second... if you're as prejudiced as you say you are, why did you support me when I proposed?_

 _Sebastian (6:38am): Dunno. Seemed like the thing to do._

 _Sebastian (6:38am): That and I didn't want to get lynched by a mob of irate Warblers._

Blaine laughed at that, genuinely amused by the guy's reply and trying for a moment to remember the last time Kurt had made him smile like this.

 _Blaine (6:39am): Really?_

 _Sebastian (6:39am): *laughs* No of course not really. I could see it was something you really wanted. I was supporting YOU, not the proposal._

 _Blaine (6:40am): So you knew it was a bad idea and you didn't say anything?_

 _Sebastian (6:40am): And how would you have reacted if I had told you it was a horrible idea?_

He didn't have to think too long about that.

 _Blaine (6:41am): Okay good point._

 _Sebastian (6:41am): Exactly._

 _Blaine (6:41am): So... any advice?_

 _Sebastian (6:42am): Are we being objective again?_

 _Blaine (6:42am): Yes please._

 _Sebastian (6:42am): Talk to him. Tell him how you're feeling._

Huh. Okay wow. He'd definitely not expected that kind of advice from Sebastian. He seemed better at this whole objective thing than he'd thought.

 _Blaine (6:44am): That's actually really great advice._

 _Sebastian (6:44am): Thanks! :D_

So now he had to go do exactly what Sebastian had told him to do. Address the whole situation with Kurt. They'd never really spoken about the distance growing between them. Blaine had always feared what he might learn should he ever broach the subject, and Kurt... well for all he knew his fiancé felt exactly the same.

 _Blaine (6:49am): Quick question..._

 _Sebastian (6:49am): Shoot._

 _Blaine (6:49am): If you WEREN'T being objective..._

 _Sebastian (6:50am): That's easy. Leave him and move to Paris._

Blaine laughed aloud at the reply that was everything he remembered – and yes, missed – about his friend.

 _Blaine (6:51am): *laughs* Of course. Thanks Sebastian._

 _Sebastian (6:51am): Anytime at all, Killer._


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Hi again everyone. Apologies for the long gap between chapters. I didn't mean to keep you all waiting so long, but life just got in the way a little for a while. Moving house, changing jobs... it all just got a little hectic for a while there. I wish too that I could tell you I'll be updating more regularly, however I'm just about to head off on a holiday overseas for the next month... but please bear with me, I hope to update it more when I get back.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who took a moment to read this and for those who've followed and favourited the story. Thanks especially go to my reviewers; I appreciate you taking the time to let me know what you think :)

Darrinia: Blaine should definitely do what Sebastian suggested. :P Unfortunately, he is in love with Kurt, even if things aren't so awesome at the moment. We'll see where this friendship with Sebastian takes him.

onlyalegend: Thanks! I'm really glad you're enjoying it as much as you do. Sometimes I wonder if I'm getting them right... I'm glad you think I do :)

Enough from me... please enjoy Chapter 3.

* * *

 _Blaine (6:12am): So... we talked._

It didn't take Sebastian too long to reply, and Blaine started to wonder whether the guy was simply starting to anticipate his messages around this hour of the morning. He knew it probably wasn't the best idea, making a habit of talking to Sebastian like this, but it had been such a long time since he'd found someone he could really _talk_ to without judgment.

 _Sebastian (6:16am): And?_

Now how to put this without making it into more than it really was... Honestly, there wasn't really a lot he could say. The fact of the matter was that the whole situation was really far too easy to explain.

 _Blaine (6:17am): We got in a fight._

 _Sebastian (6.17am): Christ. And I thought my relationships – such as they are – were dysfunctional._

He had a point of course. He knew that Sebastian didn't do relationships or commitment; that things like this simply didn't make sense to the other guy. If things with one of Sebastian's partners became complicated the guy could just leave the man behind; find someone new.

It wasn't quite so easy for him.

Sighing heavily, he responded, wishing for the briefest of moments that he could speak with the other guy in person.

 _Blaine (6:18am): I know. I don't know what to do. We didn't resolve anything, and I don't want to bring it up again because I don't want to fight again._

Sebastian's reply this time took a little longer, and when he received it Blaine wondered just how much thought had gone into the guy's advice – because once again it was pretty great advice.

However much he said he wasn't so great at this sort of thing, Sebastian really did give great advice.

 _Sebastian (6:21am): Just get out of there. Take a week. Refresh. Recharge._

 _Blaine (6:21am): Yeah... maybe._

 _Sebastian (6:21am): Not maybe. Definitely. You need a break from all that drama._

The other was right, he knew. He needed some distance and some perspective, but thinking it and doing it were two completely different things. He knew that telling Kurt he needed space to think was only going to cause another argument; knew too that if he didn't things would most definitely only get worse.

 _Blaine (6:22am): You're probably right. So what are you up to this weekend?_

Sebastian didn't seem to mind the sudden topic change, responding quickly to the question.

 _Sebastian (6:23am): Headed into London._

 _Blaine (6:24am): Nice! What's taking you there?_

 _Sebastian (6:24am): *shrugs* Some guy. Met him in a coffee shop a few days back and he wants to take me to London._

Sometimes he was envious of the life that Sebastian led. Most of the time he... well not exactly looked down on it, but definitely wasn't interested in living like that himself, but there were times – especially recently – where the life Sebastian led just seemed so much easier.

 _Blaine (6:25am): *laughs* Of course he does. Sounds good though... wish I could just head over to London._

 _Sebastian (6:26am): Why not? I said take a week. Take a week in London._

 _Blaine (6:26am): *laughs* Don't be ridiculous. I can't go to London._

He said he couldn't – knew he couldn't – but the minute Sebastian had made the suggestion he could almost see it in his head. Escaping across the world for a relaxing week alone in London. Maybe if Sebastian could drag himself away from that guy his friend could take a moment to show him around. He knew from conversations in the past that Sebastian was more than familiar with London.

He was pretty sure the guy would make an excellent tour guide.

 _Sebastian (6:27am): Sure you can. London is amazing. Will totally take your mind off all that drama._

Tempted though he was by the idea, he knew the whole thing was ridiculous.

 _Blaine (6:27am): I can't. And even if I could I definitely couldn't afford a flight to London right now._

 _Sebastian (6:28am): Ah yes... the age old plight of the university student. Well think about what I said. A week away. Will do you the world of good, even if you don't end up in London. Promise me you'll think about it._

It made sense of course. Getting away from the issue, recharging a little, figuring out exactly where it was that he stood before returning to address the issue.

 _Blaine (6:28am): Okay fine. I promise I'll think about it._

* * *

 _Blaine (2:02pm): Okay you were right. I need a week off. Just got it approved by school. :) Thanks for the advice._

And he _was_ thankful. Now that everything was settled and approved he already felt a little of the weight that had been resting on his shoulders lifting. The idea that he would have a week to himself, a chance to refresh, recharge, and really figure out what it was that he wanted from his life now... it was perhaps one of the lightest feelings he'd felt in a long time.

He almost felt... free.

He didn't receive a response straight away; he supposed it was getting later in the evening where Sebastian was and he was probably in the middle of something. Still... it was only about twenty minutes later when he finally got a reply from the other guy.

And not one that he expected.

 _Sebastian (2:26pm): Go to the airport now._

Huh. Odd.

For the briefest of moments he had a thought that Sebastian had flown in from Paris; that he would be waiting for him at the airport. That they could spend the next week talking through all his issues and problems and...

But of course Sebastian wasn't here. He couldn't have known Blaine was going to take his advice – and so quickly too – so there was no reason for the tall young man to fly all the way here.

 _Blaine (2:26pm): Sorry what?_

Looking for a little clarity, he didn't quite get what he was looking for when Sebastian responded again.

 _Sebastian (2:27pm): Airport. Now. Go. Or you'll miss your flight._

 _Blaine (2:27pm): What flight, Sebastian? What're you talking about?_

 _Sebastian (2:27pm): You're coming to London. I'm going to show you around._

Though it explained – at least a little – what it was that Sebastian was talking about, still the other wasn't making a whole lot of sense.

 _Blaine (2:28pm): Very funny, Bas. I'm not going to London._

 _Sebastian (2:28pm): I know, I know. You can't afford it. I heard you. Check your email._

Check his email? What the hell was the other guy on about.

Still, maybe because his brain was still a bit muddled by Sebastian's out of the blue comments he did as the other guy said, opening his email and taking a look at the most recent one there. Reading the subject line, his eyes widened a little, and clicking almost frantically on the item to open it, his eyes widened further when they saw the content of the message.

This was...

This was just...

 _Blaine (2:30pm): Are you crazy?! You can't just buy me an airline ticket to London!_

Sebastian's reply to that had all the cocky attitude of the guy that he'd come to expect over the years knowing one another.

 _Sebastian (2:30pm): I can actually. I just did in fact, as you're aware. You'd better start packing._

 _Blaine (2:31pm): You ARE crazy._

 _Sebastian (2:31pm): Crazy AWESOME._

The comment – as stunned and in shock as Blaine was – made the older guy smile with a shake of his head. Sebastian, it seemed, would never change.

 _Blaine (2:31pm): But what about your guy?_

He was just looking for reasons now why this couldn't happen, why this was such a horrible idea, but fact of the matter was he really wanted to see the other guy; see him in person and be able to talk to someone who wouldn't judge him, who wouldn't expect anything from him.

He wanted to talk to a friend.

And Sebastian, with his crazy spontaneity had given him that chance.

Still... it was a lot of money to waste on someone you hadn't seen in ages. The idea of accepting the guy's generous gift left him feeling a little... Well he didn't feel he was worth that kind of gift; certainly not from a guy he'd practically shunned for months because his fiancé didn't like him.

But Sebastian, it seemed, wasn't taking no for an answer.

 _Sebastian (2:32pm): Whatever. Guy was a bore. Flirting whilst waiting for coffee is one thing... twenty minutes alone with the guy...? Snore. Now hurry. Pack warm. It's a little nippy here._

 _Blaine (2:32pm): You're mad._

 _Sebastian (2:33pm): A mad genius. Now stop pretending you're not coming and GO PACK. See you in like... 14 hours._


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Hi all! First things first... Merry Christmas! Or happy holidays, if you don't celebrate Christmas. I hope everyone's had a great holiday.

Obviously I've returned home from my trip and finally gotten around to getting you the next chapter of this one. I'm presently writing three fics at once... might have bitten off a little more than I can chew with that, but thanks for hanging in there if you're still with me.

Thanks to all who've followed and favourited the story. I'm glad you like it enough to stick around for more. Thanks especially to my reviewers. I love hearing your thoughts. Your reviews definitely help keep me determined to keep writing more of this.

Darrinia: Yes indeed, they are going to see one another. It'll definitely be an interesting week for the both of them. We'll have to wait and see where it all leads.

Anyway, enough from me. Please enjoy Chapter 4.

* * *

He didn't start regretting the impulsiveness of this decision until the plane began pushing back from the gate. Only then did the sheer idiocy of this plan finally settle into his mind. He was leaving New York for a week, taking a break from his classes – a break from Kurt – and spending several days with a guy he hadn't seen since high school. They hadn't even _spoken_ since the day he'd proposed to Kurt. Since then, their only communication had been through these texts, and although those meant a lot more to him now than he'd imagined they might in the beginning, they were still just texts. What if it was awkward? What if they had nothing to talk about in person? What if they were only ever really friends by text?

He spent the next eight hours worrying about it, his concerns plaguing him to the point that he was unable to sleep – even in the luxurious first class cabin Sebastian had booked him. He kept worrying about it all through customs and waiting for his luggage. He kept worrying about it right up until he walked out of the arrival gate to see Sebastian's beaming grin waiting for him.

"Killer! Hey! Welcome to London!" He paused for just a moment, green eyes flicking quickly over his face and posture. "Christ! You look exhausted!"

"Long flight," he explained wearily, but mustered up a warm smile for his friend.

"You didn't sleep at all?" Sebastian asked in surprise as he relieved Blaine of his bags. If he hasn't been so tired he might have protested but as it was he was glad to let them go. "Those first class seats are pretty comfortable. Dunno how people survive in economy, I really don't. God, I'm such a snob."

Blaine couldn't help but laugh quietly at the quick chatter of the other guy. "At least it's a flaw you're aware of."

"More than aware, believe me. I'll never take being wealthy for granted, I can guarantee it." Then he grinned. "And speaking of snobs and their wealth... my driver is waiting just over there."

Blaine looked up at him in surprise. He'd forgotten over the months apart how very _tall_ Sebastian was. "You have a driver?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Sure. Only a hire, mind you. I don't have a permanent driver just in case I ever happen to be in London. That'd be _really_ fancy. And don't get me wrong, we're totally catching the underground this week because it's part of the whole 'London experience', but I figure catching a train from the airport might be hellish. Or at least a driver is only a hundred percent more convenient for my poor, very jetlagged American friend."

Blaine nodded with a smile at Sebastian's obviously great mood but otherwise didn't respond. Sebastian, no doubt realising he'd have to carry this conversation, just smiled back.

"So how about we get out of here? You probably want to get back to the hotel and take a nap."

Blaine laughed quietly with a quick nod, rubbing at his eyes in exhaustion. Now that his worries had fled he was really starting to feel all those hours he'd been awake – not to mention the time difference between London and New York.

"No worries at all. I got us a nice hotel in the middle of London. Right in the middle of everything. No point staying out in the middle of nowhere unless the middle of nowhere is what you came to see." He laughed at the drowsy expression on Blaine's face, throwing a companionable arm around his shoulders. "Okay, come on sleepy head. Let's get you out of here."

* * *

What Sebastian hadn't told him – and when he found out he was too tired to make a big deal out of it – was that he'd gotten them a large suite to stay in. Two bedroom, but essentially they were staying in the same hotel room.

He didn't even _want_ to know what Kurt would say to that if it somehow got back to him.

Then again, Kurt was likely to flip out the moment he found out he'd gone to London at all – let alone to spend time with Sebastian Smythe – so there was probably no point worrying about it. Besides... he was so tired at that point that the idea of taking the time to check in to a second room just made him want to cry.

So he stumbled without comment into the large suite, rummaging through his suitcase to find clean pyjamas before treating himself to a hot – and very short – shower.

After that he must've found his way to his bedroom because he woke up buried in a thick, warm quilt on a mattress that gave the impression he was sleeping on a cloud – he really needed to get himself one of these at home.

Sitting up, bleary-eyed and slightly disoriented, it took him a moment to remember his impulsive trip, another moment to quietly panic about it, and yet another to realise that it was fine. It was just a week away from Kurt... he just needed some space to think. It didn't mean anything.

Dragging himself out of bed – God it was so amazingly comfortable – Blaine padded barefoot to the door, opening it a crack and peering around the large suite. "Sebastian?"

Nothing. The guy had gone out apparently, and after feeling a moment's indignation – how could he abandon him in a foreign country – he realised exactly how unfair that thought was. Of course Sebastian wasn't going to wait around while he slept. He wasn't a kid anymore.

Still, it was strange being in this large place all by himself, and after making a quick pit stop to the bathroom to get changed and tidy his hair, Blaine made his way to the small kitchen area to make himself a coffee.

He was halfway through it before the door opened, signalling Sebastian's arrival home. It was obvious he was trying to be quiet so as not to wake him, but a wide smile split his face when his eyes caught Blaine's. "You're awake. Welcome back to the land of the living."

Blaine smiled, nodding. "Thanks. This place is amazing," he offered then, gesturing around at the suite, and Sebastian's eyes flicked around the room as he nodded his head.

"Yeah. My father and I always stay here whenever we're in town. Best hotel in London as far as I'm concerned."

He made his way deeper into the room, depositing a paper bag on the bench and patting it happily. "I found you some bagels, New Yorker as you are now, though I can't promise they'll be on par. And some coffee too, because the stuff here..." and he made a face.

"I didn't think it was that bad."

Sebastian just chuckled. "Well you wouldn't. You're used to American coffee. Parisian coffee will ruin you forever. Avoid if at all possible." And when Blaine laughed, Sebastian continued. "And though this stuff isn't _quite_ as good as Parisian coffee... at least it's tolerably close."

Blaine just laughed quietly. "You really _are_ a snob."

The other guy flashed him a grin, nodding. "I told you. I'm the worst. Still... You'll thank me later when you try it," and he gave the bag one last satisfied pat before making his way over to join him on the couch.

"Until I return to the States and am stuck with the shit New York coffee again, you mean?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Life is hard." And the other paused a moment, before shifting a little on the couch to face him "And speaking of... 'fess up. What's going on with you? All this drama with Kurt? That's not like you."

Blaine just sighed, shaking his head, unsure for the moment whether he was really ready to discuss this with the other guy. It was one thing to put it in writing; it was another thing entirely to talk about it with those big green eyes watching him so steadily.

"Not ready to talk about it? That's fine too."

It seemed as though Sebastian could read his mind; it must have been a new skill because in the past Sebastian had definitely never seemed to understand when to stop. He'd seen it towards the end of his friendship... Initially he'd attempted to hide his antagonism towards Kurt... after a while he'd apparently given up.

"It's not that... it's just... I don't really know how I feel about it all."

Sebastian considered that a moment, nodding his head. "I get that," and when Blaine looked at him in disbelief, Sebastian shot him a grin. "Okay not exactly, but I have definitely experienced a similar feeling... just not about something quite so important."

Blaine just nodded in silence for a moment, his mind going over all the facts – everything he'd been going through with Kurt during their time together in New York, trying to put his finger on exactly what it was that he wanted.

"I just... I don't know if I'm still doing the right thing."

There was a brief pause.

"So... you're not sure if you want to be engaged to him anymore? You're not sure you want to get married?"

He only hesitated a moment before shaking his head, dark eyes lifting to find Sebastian looking off to one side, his expression... distant. He was clearly considering what it was he was going to say; trying again to be objective as he'd done for him over the phone.

"Okay wow... that's uh... that's pretty big." He paused a moment, green eyes flicking back to Blaine's face, seeking out his own. "Does Kurt... I mean... does he feel the same?"

Blaine just shook his head with a shrug of his shoulders. "I don't really know. Maybe, maybe not. It's not like he's really giving us a chance to talk anything through. We don't communicate the way we used to. I think... I mean... I don't think he loves me anymore."

It was a long moment that Sebastian studied him this time, eyes flicking over his face, as if perhaps attempting to read anything behind the words he offered. "Now... don't take this the wrong way, but is that an honest assessment. Or are you just hoping that it's the truth?"

"I... what..." Blaine recoiled at the idea, an instant frown tugging the corners of his mouth down. "I don't _want_ that. I don't _want_ him to fall out of love with me. I just... I think he has."

His reply was an instant shake of his head. "Trust me, he hasn't. He's definitely still in love with you. Remember I knew you two pretty well, and if there is one thing I know about Hummel is that he's completely head over heels for Blaine Anderson. Maybe he's let it slip his mind in recent times, but he'll figure it out eventually." And when Blaine opened his mouth to speak, Sebastian continued before he could reply. "I think this whole separation thing will do the two of you the world of good. You can stop trying so very hard to figure out what's going on with your relationship and tormenting yourself over it, and Kurt... well Kurt can have the time he needs to realise that he does miss you and _does_ want you around. Hate to say it, Killer... but you two are just in a rut. You'll both get through it."

For a long moment Blaine just considered that, before a slow smile pulled at his mouth, his dark eyes sparkling merrily at the other guy. "You know... you've gotten really good at this whole advice thing in such a short space of time."

Sebastian flashed him a grin. "What can I say? I've always been a fast learner." Then he clapped his hands. "Now... finish your coffee and I'm going to show you London how it is _meant_ to be seen."

"Sounds great to me."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** Hi everyone! Welcome to 2018! Hopefully it's going to be a great year for everyone (I know it hasn't disappointed me yet... so far so good).

Thanks again to all those who've followed and favourited this story, and thanks especially to my reviewers for their thoughts and encouragement. It's always great to hear from you guys.

screamersilent: Thanks very much, I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far. And sorry I've not been better with the frequency of my updates for this one. Hopefully you continue to bear with me. I'll definitely try my best to not keep you guys waiting _too_ long.

myescape13: Yeah... I always wondered what Sebastian might be like if he wasn't so aggressively pursuing Blaine himself, and I guess this is one interpretation of what I came up with. Initially what started as a conquest after they first met became actual friendship... Sebastian cares about Blaine's feelings. He might have to start worrying about his own soon. :P

Darrinia: Yeah... I do love my Seblaine. It definitely feels weird having Sebastian on team Klaine. At least for the moment. Things are definitely going to get more complicated, I can promise that. What's a story without a little drama, right?

Anyways, that's enough from me. Thanks again for everyone who took the time to read this story, and without anymore from myself, please enjoy Chapter 5.

* * *

"God, I'm exhausted."

Sebastian grinned as Blaine flopped into a seat at the nearby table, sliding easily into the one opposite, his green eyes quickly scanning the market surroundings. "Lightweight."

Blaine just shot him a playful glare for that, his dark eyes doing his own survey before returning to look at his friend. "Keep in mind I'm from a different time zone. I think I'm still on New York time."

The other guy glanced quickly at his watch, obviously more than aware of the time differences when he offered, "So for you it's only ten o'clock in the morning? You poor thing." His sarcasm was incredibly obvious.

"It also means I've been up a lot longer than I should have been at this point, and you've had me walking all over town."

Sebastian shrugged. "I'm trying to show you everything before your week ends... seeing everything there is to see in London in a week... I'm determined to see if it can be done."

"And you decided to start with Greenwich?"

The guy looked around them briefly then back to Blaine, nodding his head. "It's the furthest out, and I thought the nice trip on the ferry would give you a chance to rest your poor jet-lagged American legs a little."

Blaine laughed. "Jet-lagged American legs?"

Rolling his eyes, Sebastian nodded. "You know what I mean. There is a lot of walking to be done in most of London sightseeing adventures, and I thought Greenwich would be an easy place to start."

"Forgetting of course that the observatory, which is kinda the whole point of coming to Greenwich I figure, is at the top of a steep hill with a whole lot of steps?"

Sebastian shot him an irreverent grin. "Okay so I might not have considered that part. But hey... now you can say you've stood in two completely different hemispheres at the same time. Congratulations."

Blaine just chuckled. "I'm sure everyone will be super jealous when they hear about it." He felt his phone buzz in his pocket then, pulling it from his pocket and glancing down to find Kurt's name flashing on the screen.

Feeling a wash of cold race through his body, he felt Sebastian lean over to get a look at the screen, before the other boy reached across and snatched the thing out of his hands. "Hey! Sebastian!"

"You can't answer this." And without another word, Sebastian rejected the call, shaking his head when Blaine extended his hand to get his phone back. "Doesn't he understand the concept of time apart? He's not supposed to be calling you."

Blaine felt a slightly sick feeling start up in the pit of his stomach at those words before he quickly shook his head. "He doesn't know I've gone."

Surprise crossed Sebastian's face then, green eyes wide as he stared a moment. "Wait... you didn't tell him you needed time apart? You just left without a word?"

"He wasn't home. I hadn't seen him for a couple of days... I figured he'd probably not even notice I was gone."

"Shit... Blaine..." And the sudden sympathy that filled Sebastian's green eyes had Blaine shoving himself out of his seat, moving away and towards the market. Sebastian caught him only moments later of course, long fingers circling his wrist and pulling him around to face him. "Blaine you need to talk about this."

"Why?" he asked, twisting his arm out of Sebastian's grip, his dark eyes furious – more at himself than at Sebastian, but he couldn't help the way he glared at the other guy. "Why talk about it? It's only going to make me feel worse. Make me wonder where the hell he was staying and who he was staying with. Why he didn't think it was important to call and let me know he was going to be away. Why it took him this long to even realise I was gone and give me a call."

"Blaine..."

"I mean... maybe he hasn't even figured it out yet. Maybe he was calling to let me know that he'd be gone a couple days longer. Maybe he's leaving me. Maybe..."

"Maybe the world will end in sudden spontaneous combustion."

"What?"

"Blaine calm down." And when Sebastian's words only made him feel angrier he realised he was being ridiculous, taking out his insecurities on a friend who was only trying to help.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes a moment before opening them again. "Sorry. I just..."

"You're worried. I get it. You don't want things to fall apart and you're scared that's exactly what they're doing, but Blaine... I mean... You left the _country_ for a week. You left to take some time apart. You don't think you should have let Kurt know that's what you're doing."

Blaine shook his head. "I figured if he was allowed to disappear, why couldn't I?"

Big green eyes studied him carefully for a moment, before a frown started to pull at Sebastian's mouth. "Blaine, I just... you should be careful. A separation can be really great for a couple. It can remind them how much they really enjoy having one another around. It can give them a chance to really miss one another, but if Kurt doesn't _know_ that's what's going on... What if he thinks you've left?"

Blaine just frowned. "But I have left."

"I mean for good. Left him." And when Blaine started a little at that, Sebastian continued. "I mean look at it from his perspective. He's returned after a couple of days absent to an empty apartment... and what if he realises your suitcase is gone? He's going to think you've packed up some things and moved out."

"I just... I didn't think about it. You didn't really give me a lot of time to think about it."

Sebastian didn't react when he tried to place the blame at his feet with anything more than a faint smile. "Blaine you could have left him a note? Shot him a quick text or email from the airport... It would have been so quick and easy. What prevented you from doing either of those?"

"I... I dunno. I guess... I guess I wanted to hurt him."

"Because you were hurt by him. You wanted him to know what that felt like?"

Blaine nodded, frowning now, his dark eyes sad. "Yeah I guess." Dropping his face into his hands, he felt the threat of tears stinging the back of his eyes. "God, I'm such an awful person."

There was a brief moment of silence before he felt long arms circle him, wrapping tightly around his shoulders and holding him close, his own arms circling his friends waist as he buried his face in the other's shoulder. And for a long moment Blaine allowed himself to cry – all the fears and frustrations, every moment of hurt that his fiancé had heaped upon him over the last few months, every night lying alone in that apartment, sleeplessly awaiting Kurt's return... all of it washed away by tears as Sebastian held him close.

What felt like a long time later, he pulled away, wiping his eyes and grimacing a little at his total lack of control. "Sorry about that... I guess I don't–"

"Don't worry about it. That's what friends are for, right?"

And there was no judgment in Sebastian's face; no resentment, no boredom. He was being sincere. He really _was_ just there for him. He couldn't help the smiled that tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"Thanks Sebastian."

The other flashed him a quick grin. "Yeah no sweat. Now... let's get going and check out the rest of this market before we miss the last ferry back."

Blaine's smile widened and he nodded. "Let's."

* * *

It was a long time later that found them both trudging into their hotel room, Blaine closing the door wearily behind him as Sebastian staggered through the room and flopped heavily on the couch.

"Shit! Sightseeing is exhausting."

Blaine just laughed quietly, flopping down on the opposite end of the couch, lying top and tail with Sebastian on the large piece of furniture. "I thought Greenwich was going to be the easy day. You got to sit on the ferry and rest those poor American legs of yours."

All he got for his teasing was a playful slap on his shin from the other guy, and he just laughed again, feeling sore muscles start to relax from his position on the couch.

After his breakdown at the markets in Greenwich the day had taken a turn for the better, the two boys exploring the rest of the district, Blaine taking photos of everything that caught his eye. It hadn't been long after that that he'd noticed that Sebastian wasn't taking any photos at all, content merely to show him around and watch him take his own photos and Blaine began to wonder if his friend was enjoying their sightseeing as much as he was.

"Sorry if that was boring for you; seeing all of that again, I mean."

Sebastian lifted his head long enough to catch sight of Blaine's face, before it dropped back to the arm of the couch and he shook it. "Don't worry so much, Killer. Sometimes you're allowed to just have a fun day without worrying about everyone else."

"I didn't..."

"Like I said, Blaine," and now Sebastian struggled up to a seated position, green eyes finding Blaine's. "Everyone else's happiness isn't your responsibility. It's not your job to make sure everyone else is having a great time."

"I know, but I don't want you to regret..."

"I don't." Again Sebastian cut him off, this time with a curious smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. "I don't regret a minute of it, okay? So stop worrying. I had a great time." And then he flopped back to lie on the couch, chuckling. "Well... most of me. My legs and feet might be cursing me a little right now."

Blaine had to laugh at that. "Mine too. If they were at all sentient, I'm pretty sure I'd be dead by morning."

"Because they'd totally be keen on murdering you for torturing them like this?"

"Exactly." There was a long pause then, a comfortable silence settling between them before a thought drifted through Blaine's head. "Oh God... what are we gonna do for dinner? I don't think I can move."

Sebastian laughed quietly. "And that, Killer, is why they invented room service."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** Hi all. Sorry again for the massive delay between chapters. I want to promise that I'll get better, but I only tend to write when I'm feeling a bit inspired... and there are so many distractions in life.

Anyway, another quick thank you to all the people who've taken time to read this; doubly so for those who've followed and favourited it. I'm glad you're enjoying what I've written so far. Special thanks go to my reviewers. Hearing from you only makes me want to write more, so thanks so much for your comments and your thoughts.

myescape13: I'm totally with you on this one... I love my Seblaine. They're just so fun together, even in the show where they never really 'happened'. The two of them together is just a good combo and Blaine is definitely feeling it in this one. He's a bit distressed by the situation with Kurt, but he is definitely enjoying his time with his buddy. As for if they become anything more... well you'll just have to wait and see.

Darrinia: Sebastian is definitely a good friend and Kurt a very bad boyfriend – totally agree with you on that. I might have made Kurt just a _little_ worse than he was in the show, but the sad, almost desperate Blaine from that scene at the beginning of Season 6 almost destroyed me. So... *shrugs*

screamersilent: First, you're welcome, and second, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I tend to reply to all my reviewers... there's usually only a few per chapter so this bit at the beginning of each chapter doesn't get too ridiculous, and I really do appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts... so I figure I can take the time to reply. :) So thanks.

Anyways, that's enough from me. I hope you all enjoy Chapter 6.

* * *

The rest of the week flew by and Blaine realised once again that the old adage was correct.

Time flies when you're having fun.

And he was too, probably the most fun he'd had in a long time. Sure, every now and again his life back in New York would slip back into his mind and he'd dread his return to the silence of that apartment, but then Sebastian would introduce him to something new – some new part of London that he'd never seen before and he'd be distracted all over again. Honestly, he wasn't one hundred percent sure what his life would have been like if Sebastian had never sent that text all those weeks ago but he knew for sure that he wouldn't have been this happy.

It was strange really... Sebastian had never been the guy who made him happy. Sure, he knew how to have fun and was more than a little complimentary back in the days when he'd been trying to get into his pants, but he'd never been the source of his happiness.

Now... now he wasn't so sure.

He couldn't remember the last time Kurt had made him smile. Certainly it had been months since his fiancé had given him anything to smile about, and Blaine found himself wondering why he'd not done something about it sooner. He supposed a big part of it was the fact that he couldn't deal with all the fighting. Initially Kurt had been easy to talk to; sure, stubborn in most of his thoughts and opinions, but it hadn't been difficult to share his own. Over their years together of course, things had started to change. Kurt became not only stubborn but also aggressive when it came to getting his point across, turning every discussion or disagreement into a fight and Blaine... well Blaine wasn't built for that kind of relationship. He didn't like to fight; didn't find anything constructive in it at all and so he'd begun shying away from it, avoiding topics and opinions that would end in a fight. Letting Kurt believe that he either agreed – or at least didn't disagree – with everything the other guy was doing or saying.

So perhaps this was all his fault.

He'd shared this thought with Sebastian at some point during their week together when he'd been feeling particularly down about, and Sebastian hadn't even had to say a word to tell him exactly what it was that he thought about that. His look had said it all; that he thought the idea was completely ridiculous and not to worry about it. Not that it had stopped him and later that night Sebastian had given a heavy sigh.

"Honestly, Blaine, you need to stop blaming yourself for everything."

Surprised – the comment had been completely out of the blue as far as he was concerned – Blaine looked over at the other guy with wide eyes. "What?"

"This whole thing – everything that you and Kurt are going through – it's not your fault."

"I never said it was."

One of Sebastian's brows arched to his forehead. "Maybe not. But you're _acting_ like it is, Blaine. I mean sure, communication is important, I get that. And I can understand how you might think this is partially your fault. Hell... maybe it is partially on you, but that doesn't make you solely responsible for the situation just because you don't want to fight with your fiancé."

"But..."

"When you _do_ address the things that bother you, express a difference of opinion on something, is he at all receptive to what you're saying?"

"I... well... no."

"Exactly. If discussing things isn't resolving it, there's nothing you can do."

Blaine huffed at that, his mouth pulling into a frown. "So what am I supposed to do? How the hell am I supposed to resolve things if we can't talk them through?"

Sebastian had fallen silent at that point and it was clear that the other guy didn't know what to tell him. Not that he should have been surprised. Sebastian, despite his rather helpful advice recently, wasn't exactly an aficionado on the whole relationship thing. If Sebastian had been in his position with one of the guys he was seeing... he'd have just left.

"Maybe the fact that you left without calling is a good thing." Sebastian surprised him by saying.

"Huh? How so?" He'd been tossing up the idea of calling Kurt to let him know what was going on. That he needed some time to think and that he'd be back in a week. Not specific details of course – just the thought of telling Kurt that he was halfway across the world with Sebastian Smythe made him shudder with dread – but just to let the guy know that he hadn't left for good.

Now... now Sebastian thought that he shouldn't?

"I thought you said I should have told him."

Sebastian looked over at him then, holding his hands palm out with a helpless expression in his green eyes. "Blaine... you're taking advice from a guy who hasn't had a steady relationship... well... ever. I'm making this up as I go."

Blaine considered that a moment before nodding his head with a sigh. "You're right, I'm sorry. So..." and he took a deep breath. "Why do you think it might have been a good idea that I didn't tell Kurt I was going away for a week?"

He was answered with a quick shrug, Sebastian's green eyes almost confused as he pondered the question. "I'm not sure. I just... I mean maybe it'll be a good thing if he _does_ think you've left him. For good."

"What? Why?" The idea that Kurt might think things were completely over had him feeling a little panicky, the feeling transferring over into his voice, his eyes wide as he awaited his friend's answer.

"Because maybe it'll help him realise that he misses you; really honestly misses what you guys used to have. I mean back then you guys... you were a team. Even _I_ couldn't weasel my way between you and I'm a total pro and that sort of thing." Blaine grinned at that but didn't respond, so Sebastian continued without much of a pause. "Anyway, from what I've seen and heard about these things you call serious relationships" – Blaine couldn't help his laugh – "People seem to get really introspective when one ends. They realise what they had, what they could have done better... they realise what they were missing, etcetera, etcetera."

For a moment Blaine just stared at him incredulously, and when Sebastian offered a quick "What?" Blaine shook his head.

"And what if, instead of realising how much he misses me, Kurt thinks I've left and decides that it's 'good riddance'. That he doesn't miss me and doesn't want me back? What if he's actually glad I left?"

"That won't happen. He's Kurt Hummel."

Blaine growled, frustrated. "But what if he does?"

Sebastian shook his head with a sigh. "But if, like you say, he does decide he's better off without you – which he won't – then at least you'll have your answer."

Thinking that through for a moment, wondering exactly how that would feel should that eventuality happen, Blaine's thoughts were interrupted again by the confidence in Sebastian's voice.

"Blaine, he _won't_."

"How do you _know_ that," Blaine asked with a frown. "You don't _know_ Kurt."

Sebastian just laughed quietly, shaking his head. "Blaine I know Kurt well enough to assure you that the guy is going to be in love with you until the end of days." And when Blaine looked sceptical at this, Sebastian lifted his right hand into the air. "Hand to God."

"If you'd seen how he is lately you wouldn't think that."

The reply was muttered under his breath and were it not for the quick flash of irritation in his green eyes, Blaine might have assumed that Sebastian hadn't heard him. He didn't respond in any case, leaving him instead to his own thoughts.

* * *

"I don't want to go home."

Sebastian laughed at the distinct whine in his voice, his green eyes sparkling merrily. "I'd be flattered if I didn't know you were referring to how much you seem to love this city."

Blaine shot him a quick smile, hazel eyes meeting green a moment before flicking back to gaze out over the river behind his friend. "Yeah, I just... I mean I _love_ New York. There's always something to do or see; so many different things about it that I definitely miss, but..."

"But there's just something about London?"

Blaine nodded. "Exactly. I don't know what it is. It's just... It feels right, you know? It's a completely new city, I've never been here before in my life, and it just feels... comfortable."

Sebastian nodded, turning a little in his seat to look out at Tower Bridge over his shoulder. "Not to mention the architecture is just fantastic, am I right?"

"You're not wrong." His eyes flickered to the same bridge, before meeting Sebastian's again when the younger guy turned back to face him. Then he chuckled. "Though the same could be said for where you're living at the moment."

"Paris?" and Sebastian nodded with a grin. "True that."

"I wish I could just stay here forever."

His friend was silent for a long moment, nodding but more in acknowledgement and less so agreement, because Blaine knew better than most that given a choice, Sebastian would be back in Paris in a minute. It was very obviously his favourite city in the world; it had called him back when he could have gone anywhere else in the world. "Sadly, not an option."

"I'll miss you too, you know?"

Sebastian just nodded with a knowing smile. "Yeah I know."

He laughed; couldn't help himself. "You know?"

"What can I say? I'm a fun guy."

He nodded. The guy wasn't wrong. "It's definitely been a fun week. Thanks Sebastian. I really appreciate it."

"No sweat. I will admit freely that you weren't horrible company either."

Blaine grinned, his eyes studying his friend's face for a moment. As great as the city was, he had no doubt at all that were it not for Sebastian he probably wouldn't have enjoyed his time here nearly as much. There was just something about his enthusiasm for life that made spending time with Sebastian Smythe an entertaining experience all around. The guy had thrown himself into the touristy thing with such eagerness that you'd never have guessed he'd seen it all before.

"So... enough mushiness. What are we gonna do to celebrate your last night in London? Clubbing? Please say clubbing."

Rolling his eyes, Blaine shook his head. Clubbing really wasn't his scene despite Sebastian's attempts to convince him otherwise this past week. "I was thinking something a little more... well... chill. Just drinks at the pub down the road?"

"Just drinks, huh?" and although he shook his head in dismay, Sebastian didn't seem too bothered by the idea. "Sounds like a plan." He rose to his feet then, grabbing his phone from the table and beckoning for Blaine to follow him. "Alright then. Let's head back... get you all packed and ready to go. _Then_ drinks."

With a groan, Blaine forced himself to his feet, following his friend through the crowds by the river and feeling ill at the thought that he would soon have to leave all of this behind – leave _Sebastian_ behind – and get back to his life in New York.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** Hi all! I know! I updated this quite quickly this time, please don't all die of shock. :P Unforeseen changes in my life recently has given me a little more time to focus on my writing, so with any luck you guys might be getting updates more regularly. *crosses fingers* At least that's my hope.

Thanks to everyone who's taken the time to read this; doubly so for those who've followed and favourited it. Thanks especially to my reviewers. You guys are definitely a big part of the reason I try and get this updated. I hate keeping you guys waiting and I always love to hear your thoughts.

screamersilent: Thanks very much; I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. Sebastian and Blaine have definitely found their way to a place where they can talk honestly together. And thanks... I'm glad you like how I write them. :)

myescape13: Yeah... I don't really want to split them back up. I like having them together in the same place. They can have an easier conversation here, and there's a lot less editing in what they say to one another. Not to mention we get facial expressions and emotions, which we don't have when they're texting. Unfortunately holidays never last forever, as much as I'm sure we all wish they would. :P

Min: Thanks, Min. I'm glad you liked it.

Enough from me... so I'll leave you with thanks again for taking the time to read this, and I hope you all enjoy it.

* * *

Their evening was winding down before the realisation that he was leaving in the morning slipped back into Blaine's mind. Sitting here in this pub they'd become more than familiar with during their week here, Sebastian sitting opposite him, Blaine was beginning to feel ill. The thought of leaving, of not having this connection to Sebastian anymore was making him feel more than a little panicky. Determined to push the feelings from his mind, he reminded himself that although yes he wouldn't be able to speak to Sebastian in person, at least they'd still be able to keep in contact with messages and calls.

Looking over at the guy's winning smile and sparkling green eyes, Blaine found the idea a cold comfort.

"What's on your mind?"

"Hmm?"

Sebastian just shook his head with a smile, those green eyes he'd been studying a moment before now looking more than amused. "You're not _here_ , Killer. You're somewhere else entirely. What's on your mind?"

"I..." and he hesitated, not wanting the words to come across the wrong way, but he'd always been able to be himself around this guy, to say what he was thinking. So he went with honesty. "I really don't want to leave." And when Sebastian started nodding his head with a smile, Blaine continued. "I'm going to _miss_ you, Sebastian, and the idea of not having you around... I dunno... I'm... nervous?"

His friend frowned at that, confused by the admission. "Nervous? How do you mean?" and when Blaine didn't answer straight away, Sebastian sighed. "Is this about Kurt? About what you're going home to?" He shook his head. "Blaine, you know you can talk to me. About anything; any time at all. Just send me a text, give me a call... anything. I'm here for you, okay?"

Blaine nodded, tried to let Sebastian's reassurances calm him, but the impending flight hovering in the back of his mind didn't let him relax.

"Blaine..." It seemed that Sebastian sensed the failure of his reassurances, his green eyes filled with sympathy. "I wish you could stay... or even that I could go with you to New York to help you through this, but you can't. And I can't. I'm sorry, Blaine, but this... talking to Kurt, getting this all sorted out..." He shrugged. "That's something you need to do on your own."

"What if we get into a fight again?"

Sebastian shook his head. "Then you get into a fight, Blaine. It's not going to be easy, I know. But at the same time you can't ignore all your problems until they go away. You're going to have to deal with this eventually, and it's better to deal with it sooner rather than later, and this trip... this has given you the perfect opportunity."

"How so?"

The other guy smiled. "Because you're going to tell Kurt exactly what you were doing," and when Blaine looked just a little startled, Sebastian shook his head with a smile. "Not literally. I mean you can tell Kurt that you took some time... you took a week for yourself; to think about your relationship and exactly what you want."

"And?"

"And then you tell him what you want."

"But..."

"But nothing, Blaine Anderson. You need to stop thinking about what others want from you. You need to stop thinking about what's expected. What you _do_ need to think about – the _only_ thing that matters now – is what _you_ want."

"But what if what I want isn't what Kurt wants? What if I want to be with him and he wants to end it?"

"Then that's his prerogative, but Blaine, if that's what you _really_ want; if being with Kurt for the rest of your life is what you want then you have to fight for it, otherwise it's going to slip right through your fingers." And when Blaine opened his mouth to speak, Sebastian continued before he could speak. "And sure, if Kurt doesn't want to continue with your relationship then it's over, but if that's the case, then it's something you need to hear so you can start working on whatever comes next."

Considering that a moment, Blaine frowned thoughtfully. "And what's next? What do you do when you've lost everything you've ever cared about."

Sebastian just laughed quietly, shaking his head. "It's your life, Blaine Anderson. That'll be for you to figure out."

* * *

It was a couple of hours later when the two of them stumbled through the door of the hotel room, Sebastian laughing in amusement at the story Blaine had just finished regaling him with – a fascinating tale of college freshmen, several dozen chickens and a prank gone horribly wrong.

"Woah there, Killer. Careful," and Sebastian caught him as he stumbled over something – a quick glance down at the offending article and Blaine frowned.

"Who'd put a rug there? That's so _stupid._ "

"You mean on the floor?" Sebastian asked with a grin, green eyes sparkling amusement. "Yeah... _so_ stupid. What the hell were they thinking?"

 _"Right?_ " It never occurred to him that Sebastian was teasing, his mind more than a little fuzzy and... well... floaty. Honestly, he wasn't really sure the ground was altogether solid; certainly didn't feel like it and it really wasn't doing his balance any...

He stumbled again – over nothing this time – and he began to realise perhaps it wasn't the rug's fault after all.

"Easy Killer," and he felt his arm pulled around Sebastian's neck – geez he really _was_ very tall! His centre of gravity must _suck_. How the hell did he manage to balance at all, let alone support him – Blaine – the miles and miles and miles from the front door of their hotel suite to his bedroom door?

"How're you..." and he took a breath, his mind fuzzing a little more and preventing his head communicating with his mouth to finish the sentence. Sebastian however, seemed to know exactly what he'd been going for.

"How am I not drunk?" and when Blaine nodded dizzily, Sebastian laughed quietly as they crossed the threshold, helping him over to the bed where he sat heavily, wobbling just a little as his dark eyes looked up at the other guy. "Because you, Blaine Anderson, are a lightweight, and don't have the years of rigorous training to back you up."

"Not fair," he offered in return, pouting up at the guy, and Sebastian just laughed again, shaking his head as he took a seat beside him on the bed.

"No, I guess it's not. But that's life, right? Life is never fair. We _don't_ always get what we want." He shot him a smile then, green eyes warm. "But you, Blaine Anderson... You are going to get exactly what you want."

"Exactly?" he asked, and when Sebastian nodded, he shook his head. "Not exactly."

Sebastian's smile suggested that he was merely humouring him. "Why not exactly?"

Blaine just shrugged, figuring _that_ should be obvious. "'Cause you're not coming with me. You're staying here... or in Paris. You don't live in New York. You won't be 'round like you are right now. You'll just be a bunch of funny texts and great advice from halfway 'round the world."

Sebastian's smile this time was a little fainter, but it was still a smile he received with the quick shake of his head. "You don't need me to be happy, Blaine Anderson. You have Kurt. And Kurt..." His friend shrugged. "Well... Kurt loves you. Always has. Always will." His green eyes looked a little... sad? Or weary? Come to think of it, Sebastian looked exhausted. "You'll see."

"You 'kay?"

He won a surprised laugh with the question. "Am _I_ okay? I'm fine."

But he wasn't; Blaine could see it. Didn't know how he could see it, but it was there. Buried somewhere deep behind his eyes. Buried so deep that he hadn't seen it at first; hadn't seen it all week – had it even _been_ there all week? – but that didn't make it any less real.

Sebastian wasn't okay.

It was clear his thoughts were showing on his face – curse his overly expressive face – when Sebastian shook his head again. "Seriously, Blaine, I'm fine. I'm just worried about you."

Blaine frowned now. "Why're you worried? Thought you said it's all gonna be fine. That Kurt loves me. Always will."

"And I meant what I said. He does. And he will, I just... I don't like seeing you like this. Doubting yourself like you are. All these insecurities Blaine... I just..." He shrugged. "I worry." Shooting him a quick smirk, he added, "I guess even Sebastian Smythe can care about someone if the situation's just right."

He didn't remember consciously making the decision to lean in, but one second he was quietly studying that familiar smirk pulling at Sebastian's mouth, at those sparkling green eyes, and the next his mouth was pressed to his friend's in a slow, lingering sort of kiss, and for just a moment all his worries and fears were dismissed to the back of his mind.

He didn't realise he wasn't being kissed back until Sebastian pulled away with frown only moments later. "Blaine, no."

Staring at the other guy, confusion shining in his dark eyes, Blaine tried to make sense of the situation through his fuzzy mind.

"Why not?" and if he sounded just the tiniest bit petulant it was wholly the fault of the alcohol in his system.

Sebastian just shook his head, a faint and regretfully amused smile pulling up at one corner of his mouth. "Because this isn't what you want."

He frowned, leaning back a little to get a better look at Sebastian's face – he was a little blurry right now and it wasn't helping him to think straight. "How do _you_ know?"

His friend laughed this time, honestly amused and nudged him playfully with his shoulder. "Because, Blaine, you've spent the past week telling me exactly what you want and it wasn't me. I'm your friend, Blaine. You love Kurt."

"Maybe." Okay so he was continuing with the petulant thing, was he? Good to know.

"It's okay, I get it. You're feeling a bit lost and I've made you feel less so, but you're in love with Kurt, Blaine. You'll miss me, sure, but I'm not that guy for you."

Blaine frowned, trying to think through the fuzziness in his head. "Kurt is?"

He spoke it as a question and Sebastian laughed quietly. "Yes he is. Now hurry up and get into bed. You don't want to sleep through your alarm and miss your flight."

Shaking his head, Blaine turned, crawling across the bed and slipping under the quilt, smiling in amusement when Sebastian proceeded to tuck him in. "Really?"

Sebastian shot him a quick smile, before moving away, pausing briefly to turn back at the door. "Goodnight, Killer."

"'Night," Blaine offered back sleepily, and before Sebastian turned away he caught one last smile – warm and just that tiny bit sad – on the other's face. Then he'd switched the light off, pulling the door closed behind him and was gone.

* * *

"C'mon sleepyhead. Wake up or you're going to miss your flight."

Blaine groaned, rolling over and pulling the quilt over his head, covering it with a pillow for good measure. "Go 'way."

He heard a quiet chuckle and then moments later was jostled roughly as Sebastian landed heavily on the bed beside him. Then he was ripping the pillow away and shaking him awake and, whining just a little, Blaine peered blearily up at his friend. "God I hate you sometimes."

Sebastian laughed quietly, nodding his head. "Yeah I know. Now get up Sleeping Beauty or you really are gonna miss your flight."

Nodding, Blaine tried to lift himself from the bed, finding the task just a little difficult and it took him longer than he cared to admit before he realised that he had been...

"Wait... did you tuck me in last night?"

His friend shot him a quick glance, assessing the expression on his face, the question, as if trying to read something in him. Whether he found what he was looking for, in the end Sebastian just nodded his head with something that was almost a smile, though it didn't _quite_ reach his eyes. "I did. You'd had a little too much to drink; no big deal."

Blaine groaned a little, reaching up and rubbing his face vigorously as if trying to wipe away the hangover that ran riot through his skull. "Oh God. Did I do or say anything embarrassing? Please tell me I didn't start singing spontaneously on the way home or something."

Sebastian chuckled. "No, nothing embarrassing at all. You wouldn't stop talking, but nothing that would mortify the neighbours. You can still show your face in these parts, I promise."

"Thank God."

For a moment there was a lull in the conversation, both boys collecting their thoughts and it was Sebastian who eventually broke the silence. "I wasn't kidding about that flight. You're gonna miss it if you're not careful."

"All right, all right. I'm up."

* * *

So used to his usually overly loquacious friend, Blaine found it strange that Sebastian didn't have a lot to say on the train to the airport. Sitting opposite him, the guy's green eyes - usually sparkling in amusement at something or another - were distant; his face thoughtful. Curious about where the other's head was at, and by now used to the fact that Sebastian wasn't the private sort with his thoughts, Blaine just asked him what was on his mind.

Sebastian looked up suddenly, as if surprised by the fact that he was speaking, then moments later he shook his head. "It's nothing."

It was his turn to be surprised now; Sebastian had never been the sort to not talk about things. "Nothing? You're sure? You've been really quiet this morning, is all."

A smile eased it's way smoothly onto the other's face and he looked... amused. "Okay it's not nothing, but it's just school stuff. There's been a few things I've been putting off for a while that I really need to get started on." He grimaced. "I guess your leaving today has thrown my mind back into reality. The vacation is over, so to speak."

Blaine nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean." In some ways he wished he was already home; that he and Kurt had spoken and that things were decided one way or the other. In others... well he never wanted to leave.

Which only made everything worse because the morning seemed to be flying by. Soon enough the train had arrived at the airport and he was checking in, Sebastian walking with him through the terminal and coming to a stop outside of security.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye."

Sebastian just nodded with a smile, his green eyes studying him carefully, as if maybe he was waiting for something; what it was, he didn't know.

"Thanks for everything, Bas, I mean it. I don't know what I'd have done without this week away. You really are the best."

The other nodded with a smile. "Yeah I know."

Blaine couldn't help his laugh. "Though you might try working on that whole modesty thing."

Sebastian chuckled. "I'll remember to make a note."

For a long moment Blaine struggled with indecision, hesitant for what reason he didn't know, but eventually pushed it all aside and stepped in to give his friend a hug. "Seriously," he murmured quietly, his chin resting on the other's shoulder, a little reluctant to let him go. "Thanks, Sebastian. You really are the best."

Sebastian's arms, looped loosely around his waist, tightened a little and he nodded his head. "Yeah no sweat. It was great to see you, Killer."

Pulling away with a smile, he hesitated one last moment before offering a quiet, "Bye Bas" and Sebastian's smile, warm but a little sad made his stomach twist uncomfortably.

"Bye Killer."

"Until next time."

When Sebastian just nodded with a smile, Blaine returned the nod before stepping back and turning, joining the line to make his way through security. When he looked back over his shoulder to get one last look at the guy, Sebastian was already gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:** Hi all. Yes... I know it's been absolutely _forever_ since I last posted a chapter. I've been really bad when it comes to writing lately. My gamer side got the better of me, so I apologise for that.

Just a quick thanks for those who've taken the time to read this so far, and for those who've followed and favourited the story. Thanks especially to my reviewers for taking the time to let me know what you think. I love hearing from you all. You guys definitely make me want to keep writing, so I definitely appreciate that.

LvSammy: I didn't mind the Klaine story in the show (though there were definitely times I wanted to smack Kurt, I'm not gonna lie), but I can't help but imagine all the 'what ifs', and Blaine and Sebastian had some lovely chemistry. Or else I just really liked how close they seemed to become behind the scenes, at least until Sebastian buggered it all up.

julia3132: Hi again! I remember you from my previous fic, and I'm glad you found your way to this one. Thanks very much for your review and I'm really glad you're enjoying it so far.

Darrinia: Sebastian is definitely being a good guy in this fic... giving Blaine exactly what he needs and just generally _being_ there for him. As for the rest... I'll just let you wait and see.

myescape13: Yeah... I admit I didn't really enjoy separating the two of them again. I loved having them in the same city together, but sadly it couldn't last forever and they both have lives to get back to. I was actually quite proud of him for not taking advantage... usually the Sebastian's I write aren't quite so saintly.

Ana: Thanks very much. I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. :) Hopefully I don't disappoint.

Guest: *laughs* No... definitely not finished. I was mostly done on this chapter but your review actually pushed me to finish it... I realised that you were right... that could be seen as an end, so I figured I had better get the next chapter up before people start thinking that's it. So thanks for that.

Anyway, now that I've taken up all your time getting those replies back, it's time for chapter 8... and it's a long one. I hope you all like it.

* * *

Surprisingly accurate once again for someone who knew nothing about serious relationships, Sebastian had been one hundred percent correct about Kurt's reaction to his week long absence. The minute he'd stumbled wearily through the door into their apartment he was hit by a small meteorite in the form of his fiancé and found himself enveloped in probably the tightest hug he could remember receiving in his entire life.

"Oh thank God! You're back!"

Blaine just nodded slowly, disentangling himself to drop his carry-on by the door and make his way through the room to flop on the couch.

"What happened to you?"

"Hmm? What?" Honestly he was too sleepy for any kind of discussion – and maybe a little too jetlagged – and if Kurt was going to get all pissed about how long he'd been gone and what he'd been doing... well that shit could just wait until he'd gotten some solid sleep.

"What happened to you?" Kurt asked again, indicating the way he was lounging across the furniture. "You look exhausted. Are you okay?"

Blaine just nodded, even as his eyes started drifting closed. "Yeah... just a little tired. It's been a long week." Not strictly true because his week with Sebastian had flown by; partially, he felt, because he'd been having so much fun and partially because he'd been dreading coming back to... well actually Kurt seemed to be pretty cool about his disappearing act. He hadn't even asked...

"Where'd you go?"

Ah. There it was.

"Just... away. I needed some time."

"Time for what?" An aggressive and almost petulant tone eased its way into Kurt's voice now and Blaine wanted to sigh aloud; it was a sure sign that they were about to get into an argument. Momentarily he toyed with the idea of telling him exactly where he'd been and with whom – _really_ give him something to get upset about – but dismissed the thought a moment later.

Wasn't worth it.

Instead he answered the question honestly. "Time to think." And before Kurt could ask the question he added, "About us."

He hadn't opened his eyes yet – really he should or he would totally be falling asleep right here – but he could almost _feel_ the frown on the other's face in Kurt's silence.

"What about us?" And when he didn't respond immediately, Kurt snapped. "Would you just _look_ at me when you're talking to me and stop with this whole exhausted act?"

"It's not an act," Blaine explained, really not in the mood to pander to the guy's temper, but he did sit up so he could look at his fiancé. Then he sighed, shaking his head. "This isn't working, Kurt."

Kurt's frown – he'd been so _very_ right about that – darkened further at this pronouncement. "What's not working?"

For a long moment, Blaine just stared at him in disbelief – the guy was either completely thick or else in denial. Probably the latter because he knew his fiancé wasn't exactly an idiot _despite_ his behaviour at times.

"What's not working?" he repeated, his disbelief easing throughout every syllable. " _Us_ , Kurt. _This_. This isn't working."

"I..."

"No, could you please just _listen_ for a moment and let me get this out?" And when Kurt's mouth snapped shut, his eyes dark – God he was _furious_ – Blaine continued. "I'm not saying that it _can't_ work, that it will _never_ work, because it did once upon a time. It's just... not right now. It's not working, Kurt. I'm not happy and God knows I have no idea if you're happy or not because you don't tell me. Hell, I barely _see_ you these days. And when I do see you and I try to fix things – try get everything back on track – we just end up in a fight and I'm back where I started. Honestly Kurt, I'm just... I'm tired of it, okay? I can't live like this anymore. We either need to talk this through and fix things, or I..." but his voice trailed off and he shrugged helplessly, not quite ready to say the words aloud.

For a long time Kurt just stared at him and it was clear that he was feeling more than a little overwhelmed with the sudden deluge of feelings and emotions that Blaine had just thrown at him.

Eventually he spoke; his voice darkly furious. "I don't respond well to ultimatums."

Blaine couldn't help but sigh aloud, shaking his head. "It's not an ultimatum, Kurt." And when Kurt opened his mouth to speak, he continued quickly. "It's not. I promise, I'm just... I'm just telling you how I feel. How I've felt for a _long time_. I just want to fix things. I want to be crazy and in love again. I want to look forward to coming home to my fiancé because right now... I don't."

It was another long moment before Kurt spoke again, some of that anger diminished from his eyes, but his stance – arms folded tightly across his chest, body rigid – suggested he was clearly still upset by the direction this conversation was going. "You really feel that way? Are you really so unhappy?"

His words were tight and sharp, but the very, _very_ brief flash of fragility in his blue eyes made Blaine relax just a little. "Aren't you? Do _you_ like how things are between us at the moment?"

"I..." Kurt opened his mouth to speak, hesitated and closed it again, and slowly – _very_ slowly – those arms unfolded, his shoulders drooping just a little. "No. I don't."

Blaine nodded then, watching as Kurt circled the couch, taking a seat beside him, blue eyes finding his own, a frown – this one thoughtful and sad – pulling at the corners of his mouth. "How do we fix this, Blaine? I want to fix this. I want everything back to how it was... before."

"Before New York."

And Kurt just nodded. "Yeah. Before New York."

* * *

 _Blaine (6:14am): Hey there. Haven't heard from you in a while. Thought I'd check in... see if you made it home okay._

 _Blaine (7:45am): Bas?_

 _Blaine (8:07am): You okay?_

He didn't know why he was so worried when he didn't hear immediately back from Sebastian. After all, it was mid to late afternoon there – honestly time differences confused the hell out of him – and he was probably already in class. He'd mentioned on their last day together in England that he had been putting things off that were slowly catching up to him. He was most likely busy, caught up in the life he'd pushed aside so he could spend time with his friend in London. Surely there wasn't anything more to it than that.

Right?

When he hadn't heard back later that night he was beginning to worry, shooting off several texts in an attempt to get something back from the other guy. The fact that he hadn't heard from his friend since he'd gotten on that plane to England, coupled with the way Sebastian had been acting that morning – so quiet and withdrawn – only made him worry all the more.

Had he done something wrong? Had he upset Sebastian somehow? Is that why he wasn't replying to any of his texts. He could sense that his distress confused Kurt more than a little, as did his constant need to check his phone whenever it made so much as a single chirp. Eventually, obviously fed up with this behaviour, Kurt snapped.

"God Blaine, relax a little... _Jesus_. You're making me nervous with all that fidgeting. What the hell is your problem anyway? What's got you so distracted?"

He'd started when Kurt started speaking, glancing quickly over at his fiancé before sighing and putting his phone back down on the coffee table. "I know, I'm just... I'm expecting a text." He knew immediately upon seeing Kurt's expression when he mentioned the text that he was going to ask who he was expecting to hear from so he decided to divert the other's attention. "What're you working on?"

Kurt looked down at the sheaf of papers in his hands, before giving a heavy sigh. "Nothing much, unfortunately. A guy at school – Adam – wrote a musical... wanted to know what I thought, but apparently it's not really his thing."

Blaine nodded, considering this. "You've mentioned Adam before. He's that guy, right? The head of the Adam's Apples?"

Kurt nodded. "Yeah, that's him. He's a pretty talented theatre major, but I don't think he's much of a writer. I mean... the concept is great... but the writing doesn't really do it justice."

When his phone chimed halfway through Kurt's explanation Blaine resisted the urge to shoot it a glance, focusing instead on what Kurt had just told him. "That's a shame. Is he willing to let someone else take over on the writing? If the concept is as good as you say, might be worth sending it to someone who could write it better?"

Kurt just nodded. "He might have to because this is... it's just bad. Almost painfully bland. I'd be struggling to keep my eyes open if this was playing in front of me."

Blaine just laughed quietly. "High praise. Maybe tone it down just a little when you offer your feedback."

"Why?"

For a moment Blaine wondered if Kurt was joking. "What do you mean, why? Because it's mean." He saw the way Kurt's nostrils flared a little at that and continued before the other could start arguing. "I mean sure, tell him it needs work, maybe a rewrite, but there's a line right? You can't just tell him point blank that it put you to sleep?"

"He said he wanted honest feedback."

"Honest, yes. Derogatory, no. If the concept is as good as you say, you need to encourage him to continue, not to bin the thing and give up entirely."

Kurt just shook his head, waving his hand dismissively. "Whatever. You just don't understand the relationship Adam and I have... if he said honest, he means honest."

"Yeah but..." but Blaine was beginning to sense the futility of the argument and seeing the flash of irritation in Kurt's eyes, just shook his head. "Whatever. Do what you like."

Kurt's frown didn't bother him as much as it used to he noticed then as he reached out to grab his phone, checking his messages.

 _Rachel (7:33pm): Can you please pretty please tell Kurt to ANSWER HIS PHONE?!_

Disappointed again, Blaine recounted the message to Kurt, and deciding that he definitely wasn't going to be receiving a message from his friend that day – it was already late in Paris now after all – Blaine set his phone aside.

"You wanna watch a movie?"

"Um..." and Kurt's eyes were a little distant as they looked up into his, before shaking his head quickly. "Nah I should probably call Rachel and then finish this thing." And he tossed the sheaf of paper to one side as he reached for his phone.

"Mind if I do? It won't disturb you?"

Kurt just shook his head. "No, go ahead. Watch whatever you like."

* * *

It was after almost a week of radio silence from Sebastian that he decided something must be wrong. He'd done or said something – maybe when he'd been flat out drunk that evening – that had upset his friend. He had to have. That or something horrible had happened... why else wouldn't Sebastian have texted him back?

Had something happened to the train taking him back to the city? Had he even _taken_ a train back to the city or had he caught a cab and been in an accident? Had his flight back to Paris crashed into the ocean or something?

He heard his phone chime, glancing briefly at it to see a text from an unknown number. Frowning, he checked the message. It was pretty simple and very short.

 _Unknown (5:55pm): Hello again._

Hello again? Looked like someone might have gotten the wrong number.

 _Blaine (5:55pm): Sorry... I think you might have the wrong number._

 _Unknown (5:55pm): God I hope not. Took me ages to track this one down._

 _Blaine (5:56pm): Who is this?_

 _Unknown (5:56pm): It's Sebastian._

Blaine felt a rush of warm relief and he couldn't help his smile as he rushed to reply.

 _Blaine (5:57pm): Oh thank God! I was starting to imagine all kinds of horrible things... car accidents, planes crashing... that kind of thing._

He could picture Sebastian laughing at his over-reaction; just the thought of it causing an ache somewhere deep in the pit of his stomach.

 _Unknown (5:57pm): *laughs* Dying in a plane crash would have been a real feat considering I took the train home. The tunnel flooding maybe?_

 _Blaine (5:58pm): Oh God... what a horrible thought. Hold on just a sec while I program your number into my phone._

 _Unknown (5:58pm): Holding on..._

Quickly Blaine added the new number to his phone before returning to the texts.

 _Blaine (5:59pm): I'm back. Hi again._

 _Sebastian (5:59pm): Hi Back, I'm Sebastian. What happened to Blaine?_

Then after only a moment...

 _Sebastian (5:59pm): Sorry. I know... terrible joke._

 _Blaine (6:00pm): I was about to say..._

 _Sebastian (6:00pm): How're you, anyway? How'd everything go?_

 _Blaine (6:00pm): Woah, woah, woah... not so fast. What the hell happened to you? Or I suppose more correctly to your phone? You lost it, I assume?_

 _Sebastian (6:01pm): Not exactly. I was a bit distracted on my way back into the city and I dropped it._

 _Blaine (6:01pm): And you didn't pick it up? Didn't notice you dropped it?_

 _Sebastian (6:01pm): Oh I noticed. But when it hit the ground it bounced a little..._

 _Blaine (6:02pm): And?_

 _Sebastian (6:02pm): And it ended up on the subway tracks._

 _Blaine (6:02pm): Oh._

 _Sebastian (6:03pm): Yeah... less than a minute later and it was toast. At which point I remembered the great advice given to me earlier this year to back up all my contacts onto that magical thing called the 'cloud', just in case._

 _Blaine (6:04pm): That is great advice. I assume you hadn't taken it._

 _Sebastian (6:04pm): Of course not. Also... why do NONE of the Warblers have your number?_

 _Blaine (6:05pm): Actually MOST of the Warblers have my number. Who'd you ask?_

 _Sebastian (6:05pm): Trent._

 _Blaine (6:05pm): Trent DOES have my number._

 _Sebastian (6:05pm): I knew it. Suspicious bastard wouldn't give it to me. After Trent I asked Nick._

 _Blaine (6:06pm): I thought Nick wasn't speaking to you._

 _Sebastian (6:06pm): Still isn't. Haven't heard back yet._

 _Blaine (6:07pm): *laughs* And then what?_

 _Sebastian (6:07pm): Then I tried through NYADA... apparently they don't have a Blaine Anderson registered._

Blaine had to chuckle at that one. He _had_ wondered in the past whether Sebastian had assumed he went there with Kurt. Guess this answered that question.

 _Blaine (6:08pm): Well they wouldn't. I go to NYU._

 _Sebastian (6:08pm): Okay well that makes sense I guess. And then failing everything else... I called your father._

For a moment Blaine stared at his phone, surprised at the lengths Sebastian had gone to in order to track him down. Going so far as to speak to his father – a man who, by definition, wasn't exactly the most helpful man in the world.

Doubly so, he imagined, when it came to men trying to track him down.

 _Blaine (6:09pm): You spoke to my dad?_

 _Sebastian (6:09pm): I did. Told him I was an old friend from school and was looking to get in touch._

 _Blaine (6:09pm): And?_

 _Sebastian (6:10pm): And nothing. Guy gave me your number. At which point I sent you a message and here we are._

Really Blaine wasn't altogether surprised that his father had taken the time to answer Sebastian's call. A call from an unknown number could mean a new client, and God help him if the man ever lost any potential business. That phone took priority over every single other thing in the man's life.

Including his family.

Still... he supposed if he ever _did_ want to get in touch with the man he could simply call from an unknown number.

Good to know.

 _Blaine (6:11pm): Okay wow... Are you sure I'm worth all that effort? All I seem to do these days is bitch about my love life._

 _Sebastian (6:11pm): You're worth a whole lot more than that, Killer. Besides... your romantic drama keeps me satisfied that I'm NOT in a steady relationship._

 _Blaine (6:12pm): Yeah well..._

Honestly he had no idea how to answer that comment, something about it making him feel more than a little uncomfortable. Unsure what was making him feel that way, he tried to think of something further to say when Sebastian texted back.

 _Sebastian (6:13pm): So... tell me how it went. Judging from your earlier comment I'm willing to bet not well?_

Considering how he might reply to that, Blaine took a while to compose his next text, typing a reply only to delete it before trying again. Eventually he settled on something a little vague then hit send.

 _Blaine (6:19pm): Actually not too bad. We talked pretty honestly. Was very blunt. Things are okay. Better than they were, but a bit awkward now._

 _Sebastian (6:19pm): He was pleased to see you though, right? Definitely NOT keen on ending things?_

 _Blaine (6:20pm): No, definitely not._

 _Sebastian (6:20pm): I was right then. Totally knew it. Can you picture the incredibly smug grin I'm wearing right now?_

He could and it only made him miss his friend so much more.

 _Blaine (6:21pm) Yeah yeah... Fine. I admit it. You were right._

 _Sebastian (6:22pm): Never doubted me for a second. Well that's good then. Glad everything is going smoothly._

 _Blaine (6:22pm): Thanks Bas._

He looked up then as the door to the loft opened; Kurt returning for the night with... a friend?

 _Blaine (6:23pm): Kurt's home. Gotta run. 'Night Bas._

 _Sebastian (6:23pm): Goodnight, Killer._

Closing the messaging app, Blaine rose to his feet, setting his phone carefully on the coffee table before making his way over to the two standing across the room to greet their guest.

"Hi there."

A wide smile split the handsome face of the young man as he offered his hand. "Hi I'm Adam. You must be Blaine."

"I am. It's nice to meet you at last. Kurt mentions you all the time."

"He does, does he?" And he nudged Kurt playfully with an elbow. "God I shudder to think."

Kurt just smiled non-committedly at that as he hung his coat up by the door. "I invited Adam so we could go over our notes on his musical. Rachel should be over in a bit."

"Okay, no worries. You need me to get out of the way?"

Adam answered with "Oh you're not in the way" whilst Kurt, speaking at the same time said "That'd be good yeah."

For a moment there was an awkward silence, both guys sharing a quick look before Adam shrugged, obviously deciding to stay out of it. Feeling a little hurt that Kurt obviously didn't want him involved – especially seeing as how Adam didn't seem to mind his presence – Blaine just nodded and moved to grab his phone from the coffee table before retreating to the bedroom, wishing at the same time that he hadn't been so quick to dismiss Sebastian earlier.

He could really have used someone to talk to.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note:** Hi all. Me again. Hopefully you guys are actually still waiting on me with this one... Honestly I've been struggling writing this because a friend of mine has been going through a similar situation, and drawing those parallels between what she's going through and what Blaine is... it's made it a little harder to write than I would have liked. But the next chapter is here finally. I hope you all like it.

As always, thanks to everyone who's taking the time to read this, and especially those who've followed and favourited it. I'm glad you're all enjoying what you're reading so far. Thanks especially go to my reviewers. I always love to hear from you. You guys really _are_ the best.

julia3132: I admit I didn't _mind_ Kurt too much. There were certain times throughout the series that he really bothered me, but half the time he and Blaine were just so damned adorable. Like when Blaine convinces him to go to New York... thinking about how that affects their relationship... that scene just makes me sad now.

RHatch89: Hey there! I remember you from my last fic. Thanks for the review. :) And I had my days... sometimes I wanted them back together and sometimes I didn't, but I was just loving how all that lovely confidence he had back when we met him in season 2 came back after that first breakup.

myescape13: Yeah... Blaine loves to hang on to things until they're a lost cause in my opinion. He's just always so hopeful that things are going to work out. Like him at Mr Schue's wedding, thinking that maybe he and Kurt might get back together, but Kurt was all 'no this is just casual'. Ugh. Broke my heart. Poor guy. But yeah, it also means that he's gonna at least _try_ and make things work with Kurt.

Darrinia: Kurt's behaviour isn't pleasant at all, no. He's not being overly nasty but more playing with emotional terrorism... whether he realises he's doing it not.

Anyway, enough from me. Thanks again, everyone. I hope you all enjoy Chapter 9.

* * *

He hadn't intended to doze off but was woken out of an uneasy sleep by the sound of raised voices in the living room. Two male voices argued – he couldn't quite make out what was being said – Rachel's voice rising over the others in what sounded like some kind of attempt at reconciliation.

Jumping quickly off the bed, he pulled the door of the bedroom open to see Adam storm towards the front door of their apartment, wrenching the it open before turning back to offer a quick, "You know what... you can fuck right off, Kurt." And then his eyes flicked over to catch his own, and he was shaking his head almost ruefully. "Good luck living with this asshole. You're gonna need it, heartless bastard that he is."

And without another word he stepped through the door, slamming it shut behind him.

For a moment he could only stand there and stare in silence, surprised, before turning to the two seated on the couch across the room. "What was that about?"

And whilst Kurt just scowled a little at the question, Rachel explained. "Kurt was being just a little too blunt about what he thought of Adam's screenplay."

Kurt's scowl deepened. "It wasn't blunt it was honest."

"It was both," Rachel offered pointedly. "And really mean to boot." Then she turned Blaine's way with a smile. "How're you, Blaine? Feels like forever since we last saw one another." And when she moved to give him a hug Blaine returned it with a smile.

"It's been far too long," he admitted with a nod.

"You weren't here last time I stopped by. Kurt said you'd taken a trip?"

Shooting a quick glance at Kurt at this, eventually Blaine just gave her a small nod. "Yeah... needed a bit of a break. Some time away from everything. Recharge a little." Without knowing exactly what it was that Kurt had told her it was hard to elaborate. "You know how it is."

If she noticed anything amiss she didn't address it, instead just offering him a quick nod. "I do. Wish I could take a break but there's just too much of _everything_ that needs to be done."

"I know what you mean. I've been back a week already and I'm still playing catch up. Starting to regret ever leaving, let me tell you." A bald-faced lie. He'd never regret that week away with Sebastian, whether he lived ten more years or ten thousand. It had probably been the most fun he'd had in years.

Of course he couldn't tell the other's that. "Are you staying for dinner?" Because Lord knows Kurt was going to be moody and sullen all evening and he didn't even _want_ to know what the other might think if he was to mention that he _had_ warned him about breaking the news to Adam gently. 'I told you so' would definitely _not_ be doing their relationship any favours, that was for sure.

"I would love to, but I really should be getting back." And so saying she reached down to pick up her bag, offering them both a smile and making her way to the door. "It was great to see you, Blaine. We should really do brunch one day soon."

Blaine just nodded with a smile. "Definitely. Tell me when and where."

She just offered him a smile for that, before offering a quick one to Kurt, moving to kiss him on the cheek gently. "Don't worry, Kurt. We still love you," and she shot Blaine a smile to include him in the sentiment, before offering one last smile and disappearing out the door.

There was a brief pause then, the familiar awkwardness settling between them like it always did when they were alone together, and it was when Blaine opened his mouth to suggest something for when dinner that Kurt finally spoke.

"And I don't need you telling me 'I told you so'."

Hurt by the sudden accusation, Blaine just frowned at the other guy. "I wasn't going to."

"Sure you weren't," Kurt snarked back but made no further comment, instead moving into the kitchen to start preparing dinner. Deciding he didn't want to be around Kurt when he was acting like this, Blaine decided to give him his space and disappeared back into the bedroom.

* * *

He didn't know what he was doing wrong, because he knew something had to be wrong for Kurt to be treating him like this. After all they'd sat down and had their discussion on what they wanted and how they should achieve that going forward. But despite his words that day, Kurt was ever so surely slipping back into his old ways. Moody and uncommunicative, he was becoming almost impossible to talk to, until one day a harmless question about when he'd be home for dinner resulted in a nasty response from his fiancé. Reacting poorly – he really couldn't help himself at that point – it was only seconds later that he was yelling into the phone and only seconds after that when he hung up on the guy before throwing his phone across the room in a fury.

Luckily for him (and for the phone) it survived by landing quite anticlimactically into their beanbag, causing Blaine to first start laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole thing before bursting into tears moments later. Unable to help the tears as they fell, Blaine crossed the room, rescuing the phone from the folds of the beanbag before falling into it himself, unlocking his phone and scrolling quickly through his contacts.

These days there was really only ever going to be one guy that he wanted to talk to.

 _Blaine (6:44pm): I think I made a mistake coming back here._

He wasn't sure what he expected back. At this hour of the evening it was more than a little late in Paris, and quite frequently Sebastian wouldn't notice his text until the morning. Whatever it was he was expecting it was definitely not the almost instantaneous phone call back from his friend.

Picking up with a sigh, Blaine held the phone to his ear. "Hey Bas."

"Hey Killer. You okay?

He wanted to say yes, to shrug it all off like he would have in the past, but he found that with Sebastian it just wasn't possible anymore. And so he broke down, unloading on his friend everything that had been going on the past few days, how Kurt was slowly but surely slipping back into past behaviours, their conversation ending in a fight only moments before, his tears making his voice shaky and at times indecipherable.

When he finally finished there was a momentary pause as Sebastian collected his thoughts. "So I guess that's a no?"

And Blaine couldn't help but laugh at that despite everything, wiping his tears away as once again – just as he had every time before – Sebastian made him feel just that little bit better. "Yeah, that's a no."

For another moment there was a long silence on the phone until finally his friend sighed heavily. "I'm really sorry, Blaine. I hate that you're feeling like you are – that he's making you feel that way – and even more so because I have no idea what to say."

Sniffing sadly, attempting to get his voice back under control – even he could hear the awful tremble it in – Blaine shook his head. A useless gesture since Sebastian wouldn't see it, but the automatic action joined his words as he attempted to reassure the other guy. "You don't need to say anything. I just... I guess I just needed to talk to someone."

"Oh good. Talking. Something I'm good at."

Blaine couldn't help his smile at that. "It really is quite impossible to shut you up sometimes."

"Hey now... easy Killer. Don't pretend you don't love it."

"It's true. I really do." And Blaine couldn't help it as the joking tone slid from his voice, the sudden seriousness in his voice making the other guy pause a moment before he replied.

"Blaine, you need to leave."

"What?"

"You need to get out of there."

For a moment Blaine was silent, surprised by the sudden suggestion, but moments later he was frowning and shaking his head. "I can't just take a week off every time Kurt and I get in a fight."

Sebastian paused again for only a moment before he corrected him. "No Blaine. I mean you need to leave. For good."

"You... what?" Taken aback by the guy's suggestion, Blaine found himself floundering a little as he searched for some way to respond. "I can't just _leave_."

"You can, Blaine, and you should. That relationship... you and Kurt together... it's just toxic."

"But..."

"Blaine it's _killing_ you. Taking its time sure, but eventually one day you'll cease to be the Blaine we all know and love."

"You don't... I can't, Bas. I can't just give up and leave him. Not after everything we've been through together."

He heard Sebastian sigh heavily into the phone, clearly unconvinced. "Even after how he's been treating you? Blaine you were sobbing your heart out only _minutes_ ago. How can you think it's worth what it's putting you through?"

Blaine couldn't think of an easy answer to that, feeling himself getting frustrated and a little angry, and he took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. "Because it is."

"Blaine, that's not an answer."

"It's as good an answer as I have right now." He took a deep breath in a further attempt at keeping his irritation out of his voice.

"Which means you can't think of one." He could hear the stubbornness in Sebastian's voice at this point; knew that his friend wasn't about to back down. "Blaine... You can't possibly think that staying with him is going to change anything."

Instead of answering what the other had thrown his way, Blaine asked a question of his own, throwing, "What happened to being objective?" at him, his tone a little derisive.

"I _am_ being objective."

 _"Bullshit."_

Sebastian paused again before he laughed shortly, and it was obvious to Blaine who knew him so well that, despite the laugh, his friend was less than amused. "Okay so maybe I'm _not_ being completely objective, but if you would explain the whole thing to someone – some random guy on the street – he would tell you the same thing. Toxic. Get out."

"He _would not."_

"Try it. I dare you. Pick a coffee shop across the city, start up a conversation with a random stranger and ask for his opinion. He'll tell you the same thing."

"Really? He'll tell me to abandon someone I've been in a relationship with for years – someone I _love_ – because we're going through a tough time at the moment. Just because some guy halfway around the world who wouldn't know the difference between a _real_ relationship and a dirty sock told me to?"

Sebastian fell silent a moment at that, the moment lengthening until Blaine began to feel uncomfortable, wondering if perhaps he'd crossed a line with that last comment. When Sebastian finally did speak, his voice was more subdued, less stubborn now, and instead just sounded... sad?

"Blaine, you're making a mistake. Life doesn't work like that. Things don't work themselves out because you want them to..."

"I never said they _did!"_

But Sebastian continued as if he hadn't interrupted. "... They're not clean cut; life's not black and white. Just because things were great in the past doesn't mean they'll ever be that way again."

"They _might_ be."

"And I'm not saying they won't and that it won't eventually get better. But Blaine... you took some time apart, you decided what you wanted and you told all this to Kurt, right?" And when he waited patiently for Blaine to respond, despite the annoyance he was feeling towards the guy, he eventually acknowledged the comment with a low noise of confirmation. "And he agreed that things needed to change. That he wanted what you wanted; things to get better. And he agreed to change his behaviour so that could happen. Correct?"

"Yes that's right." He couldn't help the almost waspish and more than a little defensive tone of his voice; Sebastian was speaking to him like he was a little kid and he didn't like it one bit.

"Blaine that was only a few weeks ago."

"So?"

"So he's not even _trying_. If he really cared as much about you as you do about him he wouldn't be _treating_ you this way."

"How the _hell_ would you know? You've never been _in_ a serious relationship. All relationships have _some_ problems."

It was clear from the tone of his voice that Sebastian was getting frustrated. " _Some_ , yes. _Everything_ about your relationship is totally screwed up, and from what I understand it has been for a while."

"You don't know what you're talking about," because he didn't, Blaine decided. Sebastian had no idea – _at all_ – about how serious relationships worked. Or how _real love_ worked. "Kurt _loves_ me."

"I never said he didn't. He just doesn't love you as much as you love him."

"How the _fuck_ would you know?"

He could hear the other breathing through the phone; heavy breathing... Sebastian was obviously upset.

"Call it intuition."

"What does _that_ mean?"

"It means that if he loved you as much as you love him he would be trying just as hard as you are to save it."

"You've never felt like this for someone before in your _life_ , so how the _hell_ would you know?" He knew he was taking this too far – knew that he needed to back off and take a breath before he said something he'd regret – but the anger and frustration that had been building up over the past few days had gotten the better of him.

"Blaine," and there was a sadness in Sebastian's voice that he should have been paying attention to – he knew he should – but he was simply too furious. With himself. With Kurt. And now with Sebastian, even as he admitted to himself that his friend might just be right. "You asked for my opinion. And I'm sorry but this is it." He hesitated a long time, his voice quiet when he finally spoke again. "I think it's just... too late."

"Too late for what?" Confused; there was something about the other's voice and suddenly Blaine wasn't sure what they were talking about.

And the quietly sad laugh that answered him made something unknown tighten in his throat. "Everything, Blaine." He sighed then. "Look I have to get going, but promise me something, okay?"

Wary, Blaine hesitated a moment before nodding. "Okay..."

"Promise me that whatever you decide and whatever choices you make... I just want you to make sure you make them for the right reasons. That it's not about what Kurt wants, or what your parents want, or even what's right."

"Then what..."

"You need to decide what _you_ want, Blaine. Figure that out and then do whatever you have to do to make that happen."

And when Blaine didn't answer immediately – still a little pissed off but more than a little confused at the same time by Sebastian's mood – his friend spoke again.

"Promise me, Blaine."

"I... What?"

 _"Promise me."_

Nodding quickly though the other couldn't see this, Blaine answered the guy with a sigh and a quick, "Fine. I promise."

"Good." And then after another pause, "Enjoy the rest of your evening, Blaine."

"Thanks, Bas. And you... You should probably get some sleep."

He heard a soft laugh through the phone and his stomach started aching horribly when he heard it; that quiet, sleepy laugh he'd become familiar with during their week in London, usually coupled with the warm green of drowsy eyes...

 _God_ how he missed him.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Killer."


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note:** Hi everyone. I know it's been absolutely forever since I've updated this one and I wanted firstly to apologise. That situation with my friend was making me feel a little guilty... I didn't want to be seen as using her situation to inspire my writing. But that situation has resolved itself now, so I didn't feel so bad picking this story up again.

So yes, sorry for the delay, and I hope going forward that I'll be able to update with more frequency.

As always, I'd like to thank those of you who've taken the time to read this, especially for those who've not given up on me despite my long absence. Thanks especially to my reviewers. You guys keep me writing, if only so I don't disappoint you.

RHatch89: No... not all relationships are a good idea, no matter how much you love the other person. Love isn't the cure for everything unfortunately. And agreed... I didn't think getting married immediately after getting back together was a good idea. It's one of the few times I agree with Kurt over Blaine. It _was_ insane to even consider it.

Lissa: Thanks very much, I'm glad you liked it.

myescape13: Yeah... Kurt and Blaine are both to blame for this; Kurt because he's obviously not seeing anything wrong in how he's treating others (especially Blaine) and Blaine because he's just not seeing that his relationship with Kurt is so unhealthy. He thinks that they're just going through a rough patch and that things will get better.

Julia3132: Thanks I'm glad you like this version.

Darrinia: I can't answer your review without spoilers, but let's just say it's not gonna be super easy.

Anyways, enough from me. You guys have waited long enough (sorry again for that). I hope you enjoy Chapter 10.

* * *

He didn't really want to refer to his last discussion with Sebastian as a 'fight' but knew at the same time that there was no other way to describe what had happened. It became even clearer when the very next time he sent Sebastian a message he received what could only be described as a reluctant reply. And when he tried asking for more advice...

 _Sebastian (6:12am): Blaine, I told you what you need to do._

 _Blaine (6:12am): Yeah... But I can't just LEAVE him. I love Kurt. He loves me. That MEANS something, Bas._

 _Sebastian (6:13am): I know I don't know a lot about relationships (like, at all) but what I do know is that people who REALLY love each other, those in the relationships that actually last... Blaine, they don't TREAT each other like that._

For a moment he'd just stared at his phone, unsure what to say or how he should respond. He knew that things were bad, and knew that there were many ways in which the way Kurt treated him were unfair, but at the same time he didn't doubt one bit that Kurt loved him. Sebastian too had mentioned on more than one occasion that Kurt would always be in love with him.

So why was he suddenly trying to imply the opposite.

 _Blaine (6:16am): He's just got a lot on his mind. Things will get better._

 _Sebastian (6:16am): Then you don't need me anymore, do you._

For a moment he felt like he couldn't breathe, the idea of not having Sebastian in his life, having that support that Sebastian gave him when he really needed it, he wasn't sure how he could get by without it. Not anymore.

 _Blaine (6:18am): I do need you. Please, Sebastian. I can't DO this without you._

 _Sebastian (6:19am): Blaine, that's pretty fucked up. He's your fiancé. I'm just your friend. If you can't make your relationship work without me..._

And then only moments later he followed up with.

 _Sebastian (6:19am): How the hell are you not seeing how fucked your relationship really is?_

Hurt, for a moment Blaine could do nothing but stare at the screen of his phone in disbelief. Sebastian had never been anything but supportive before and now...

 _Blaine (6:20am): Are you okay, Sebastian? You're not acting like yourself._

 _Sebastian (6:23am): Actually Blaine, I AM acting like myself. You asked me to be objective and I tried to do that for you because we're friends, but the first time you don't like what I've got to say and you think my objectivity is flawed? Fuck you, Blaine._

Feeling near tears, Blaine hurriedly typed his reply.

 _Blaine (6:24am): Why are you being like this?_

 _Sebastian (6:24am): We're supposed to be friends, right?_

Confused by the question, Blaine nevertheless hurriedly typed out his reply.

 _Blaine (6:24am): Of course we're friends._

 _Sebastian (6:25am): Then for the sake of our friendship, whatever the HELL that is worth to you, next time you need advice about your relationship with Kurt, leave me the fuck out of it._

He didn't know what Sebastian's issue was; in the past he'd been more than happy to give him advice whenever he needed it. Apparently now that he'd made his mind up about Kurt, that was it.

Irritated now, his reply was short.

 _Blaine (6:26am): Okay. Fine._

 _Sebastian (6:26am): And if you ever feel like you need my opinion on your relationship again... just refer to the above._

 _Blaine (6:27am): To leave you out of it?_

 _Sebastian (6:27am): No, Blaine._

And reading that text Blaine could practically hear the exasperation in the other's voice had Sebastian spoken it directly.

 _Sebastian (6:28am): The part about leaving him. You're too good for that guy, Blaine Anderson. Leave now before you come to regret it._

Annoyed, Blaine quickly typed out his response.

 _Blaine (6:28am): I thought you were staying out of it._

 _Sebastian (6:28am): True enough. Good luck with it all, you're really gonna need it._

* * *

"Blaine?"

At the sound of Kurt's voice, cold and hard, Blaine immediately knew that something was wrong. He could hear it in his tone even though he was certain Kurt was trying to suppress his feelings.

Hurrying from the bathroom where he'd been fixing his hair for their dinner with Rachel and Brody, he slowed as he entered the living room to see Kurt staring at his phone – although glaring might have been a better description of his fiancé's expression.

"What's wrong? Is Rachel okay?"

For a moment a look that might have been confusion crossed Kurt's face, his eyes flickering back and forth as he read what Blaine assumed was a text. Next second he was shaking his head in what looked to be disbelief, something unsettling and dark flashing in his blue eyes.

"Rachel's fine, I'm sure."

"Then what's wrong," and it was as he came closer that he saw from the corner of his eye the phone still sitting idly on the arm of the couch.

 _Kurt's phone._

Which meant...

He felt a wash of cold flood through him when he realised exactly what that meant and what it was that Kurt was reading.

"Kurt, I can explain."

Kurt's eyes were cold when he finally lifted his gaze to meet his own, and Blaine flinched a little at the anger there. Never, not once in the months and months of fighting had Kurt ever looked at him like he was right now.

"Really? You can explain?" he asked, voice sarcastic. "I'd like to see you _try_."

"Sebastian was... _is_... just a friend. He was only ever trying to help."

"By trying to split us up?"

Blaine flinched again, realising how those latest texts between the two of them might have looked. "Kurt, I'm sorry. He wasn't like that before. He was the one who convinced me to talk it all through with you. He was trying to help me fix things."

"Because he's so great at relationships himself?" Kurt scoffed at the idea. "Blaine he's trying to get into your pants. Stop being so bloody naïve."

Blaine wanted to sigh but knew that now was definitely _not_ the time for it. Sighing, he knew, made Kurt angry... made his fiancé assume that he thought he was being unreasonable – which in this instance he was, but this wasn't the time to bring that up either. "He's not. I promise, Kurt."

"So he's trying to help you fix things... by leaving me? How does that work."

"That's just a recent thing."

"Recent, huh?" And Kurt arched a brow, blue eyes like chips of ice. "Why'd he suddenly change his mind then? Was it perhaps because you – and I quote – _'made a mistake coming back here'_?"

"Kurt..."

"And back from where? Where _were_ you Blaine?"

He didn't know how to respond to that one; it was already very obvious that Kurt knew _exactly_ where he'd been so instead of answering he just shook his head miserably.

"Because you weren't just in a hotel nearby like you let me assume, were you? Of course not."

"Kurt, please..."

"Oh no. You were in _fucking London!"_

"It wasn't what you think."

"With Sebastian- _fucking_ -Smythe!"

"Kurt, I..."

"Did you fuck him?"

Blaine was stunned by the sudden accusation. "What? I... _no!_ Of _course_ not!"

He received a soft snort of disdain at that. "I don't believe you."

"But Kurt..."

"You spent a week alone in London with Sebastian Smythe and you're trying to tell me that nothing happened? Do you _know_ how ridiculous that sounds?"

"Nothing _did_ happen!"

Kurt snorted. "Yeah right, _'nothing happened'_."

"I promise, Kurt, _nothing_ happened," he insisted again, shaking his head to further emphasise his point. "Nothing at all. We didn't have sex; we didn't even kiss. We just... we hung out." And he shrugged at just how lame that sounded even if it _was_ the truth. "We went sightseeing... we were too tired after that to do much more than just go straight back to our hotel room and crash out."

For a moment Kurt just blinked as if in surprise, a blank expression replacing the anger that had been there a moment before and Blaine didn't get a chance to wonder about the change before Kurt was speaking again.

"I'm sorry, _what?_ You want to run that by me _again?"_

And Blaine realised that he'd said something wrong from Kurt's reaction, the fury in his voice having risen further. After taking a moment to reassess the words he'd chosen he felt a cold flush wash over him when he realised exactly what it was that he'd said; Kurt confirming his guess a moment later with, "Did you just say ' _our_ hotel room'?"

"Kurt..."

"You did, you said 'our', as in your _shared_ one? Did you share a _bed_ too?"

"Kurt, I _told_ you, nothing happened. It was the same hotel room but I had my own bedroom, with a door that closed and everything."

Kurt's reply was snarled back at him. "Oh because that makes it _all_ better."

"Tell me, Kurt," and when Kurt looked at him with a question flashing in his eyes through his anger, Blaine continued miserably. "Tell me how I can fix this."

Kurt didn't even have to think about his reply. "End it."

"I... _what?"_

"Whatever it is between the two of you, I want you to end it."

Feeling more than a little panicked at the idea, Blaine hurriedly shook his head. "Kurt... we're just _friends_. There's nothing there. I don't have feelings for Sebastian, I _promise_."

"I don't care if you do or you don't. I don't care if it means something or it doesn't. I want you to end it."

"But..."

"Blaine, you can't have both of us. There's not enough room in this relationship for the both of us." And when Blaine opened his mouth to argue again, Kurt shook his head. "You know exactly what this feels like, Blaine. You didn't like it when I was texting Chandler."

Narrowing his eyes, Blaine shook his head. "That was different. You were _flirting_. Sebastian was only ever trying to help me through... _whatever_ this rut, fight, _thing_ is that's going on with us at the moment. He only ever wanted me to be _happy_."

But Kurt was shaking his head, stubbornly set in his decision. "I don't care. You can't have us both, Blaine. Make a choice. Who's it going to be? Me or Sebastian?"

"I..." For a moment Blaine froze, uncertain, not liking at all where this was headed and feeling sick at the idea of explaining this all to Sebastian.

But really... Kurt wasn't giving him a choice.

"You. Of _course_ you."

The tightness that had been in Kurt's eyes from the very beginning of their conversation eased slightly and he paused only a moment before handing the phone back to him. "I'll wait for you downstairs. Give you some privacy," which Blaine thought was a whole lot kinder than he'd expected from his fiancé, especially given his feelings towards Sebastian.

Standing frozen, he watched in silence as Kurt grabbed his wallet and keys, offering a brief smile – not warm but supportive – as he left, pulling the door closed behind him.

It was only then, alone in the apartment when the reality of the situation hit him, and he wobbled a little on his feet at the thought of severing the one thing that had kept him sane all these months. Moving quickly through the apartment he settled on the edge of couch, taking a deep breath as he unlocked his phone.

 _Blaine (7:01pm): Kurt found our messages._

Regardless of everything he'd said in their last conversation about leaving him out of it, Blaine knew he'd get a response from his friend on this one, and sure enough – as expected – Sebastian was calling him, his opening words, "Shit Blaine, are you okay?"

Which of course only made him feel like an ass.

He felt his whole body trembling and he was shaking his head. "No..." and his voice broke on that. "Bas, I..."

But he couldn't find the words, shaking his head as he dissolved into tears, Sebastian's colourful language regarding Kurt daring to make him feel this way only making everything so much worse. He knew he had to go through with it, knew that Kurt wouldn't back down on this and knew too that Kurt was waiting. He couldn't take forever.

But how could he even _start_ that conversation?

Luckily Sebastian made it easy.

"Tell me what happened."

"He..." and he could barely keep his voice from becoming unintelligible through his tears. "... ultimatum."

"He gave you an ultimatum?" and when he nodded in response, not giving the guy an audible reply, Sebastian pushed for more information. "Blaine?"

"He made me choose."

"Choose?" and apparently that was all it took for Sebastian to figure out what he meant. "He's making you choose between me and him?"

"I..." and then Blaine was nodding. "Yeah."

"And you guys fought again?"

A sob broke from his throat then and he shook his head, unable to help himself despite Sebastian's inability to see the action. "N-No."

And just like that there was silence on the other end of the line, and Blaine heard nothing but Sebastian's breathing; faster than usual.

"Bas..."

"You chose him."

"Bas, I'm sorry."

"You know what, fuck you, Blaine."

Blaine couldn't help his flinch at the sharp reply, and although he'd seen the words written out in a text before, Sebastian had never spoken them directly to him. Turns out he didn't really enjoy the feeling. They were supposed to be friends. Sebastian _knew_ how he felt about Kurt. Surely – _surely_ – he should be able to understand why he'd had to make this choice.

"I'm in love with him, Bas, what was I supposed to do?"

And the other guy started laughing, a horrible cynical laugh that held nothing even resembling amusement; that made his chest ache. "I did say to leave me out of it, didn't I?" And it was almost as if the guy was talking to himself, as if Blaine were no longer on the other end of the line. "I really should have seen this coming. Of course this is how this ends."

"Bas, I'm sorry." He had to interrupt him; hated hearing the tone of his voice, the surrender and the cynicism there.

"Don't be sorry, Killer. You've just proven a theory I had about this friendship." And the dark amusement in his laughter this time made Blaine feel like bursting into tears all over again. Despite these feelings and the fact that he wanted nothing more than to curl up under the blankets of his bed and cry, he was still curious enough to ask, "What theory?"

"That it was all too good to be true."

"Bas..." His voice somewhere between apologetic and sympathetic, Sebastian spoke over him before he could get out anything further.

"That it was only ever going to end like this; that of _course_ it didn't mean as much to you as it did to me."

"I..."

"Because of _course_ it didn't. Blaine Anderson is in love with Kurt Hummel. Always has been; always will be."

"It's not..."

"Nothing _at all_ is coming in between that; doesn't matter that Kurt treats him like shit, he's never giving that up. Not for anyone or anything. Not even his own happiness." The voice on the other end of the phone was filled with bitterness now, each and every word like a dagger twisting in his stomach.

"I can't..."

"And stupid, _stupid_ Sebastian, I went ahead and started hoping there was a chance... a slim hope, sure, but it was there."

"Sebastian, I don't..."

"You kissed me, you know." And suddenly he was talking to him again and Blaine couldn't find the words he needed to respond to that, stunned.

"I... what?"

"Right? I didn't see it coming either, but you were drunk and sad so I convinced myself that it was no big deal. I wasn't the person you wanted. You wanted Kurt. You've always wanted Kurt."

Blaine didn't know what to say. He didn't like hearing Sebastian like this, that self-deprecating – and so very dark – humour lining his voice. Then of course there was the revelation of the kiss... only moments before he'd assured Kurt nothing of the sort had happened, what was now a lie hanging heavily in his heart.

"But silly me, I started hoping that kiss meant that maybe – just _maybe_ – I was getting through to you. That you were slowly releasing your death grip on your relationship with that asshole. Started hoping that maybe..."

But now Sebastian's voice faltered, and he fell silent, as if realising he was saying too much.

Blaine for his part couldn't think of anything at all he could say to make things better. He knew why Sebastian was so upset; his friend thought he was making the wrong decision, turning his back on the advice he'd given and cutting their friendship from his life to save a relationship that Sebastian didn't feel was worth saving. But if he'd ever experienced this feeling – if he'd ever been in love before, he would understand that he really didn't have a choice.

"If you knew how I felt, Bas, you'd know why I have to do this."

And the guy was laughing again, an odd hitch in his voice that Blaine had never heard there before. "If I knew how you felt, huh? If I'd ever been in love, you mean?" And he was laughing again; a horrible dark laugh laced with a misery that wanted to tear Blaine's heart to shreds. His voice immediately following that was almost wistful however, with just a hint of that bitterness. "I thought I might be once, you know?"

"What?" Sebastian Smythe in love? He'd never even considered such a thing and despite how things were between them at the moment he wanted to know the whole story, wished he could ask Sebastian who this guy had been who he'd thought might be worth more than just a night or a weekend.

A wish that was granted only moments later.

"Yeah... saying goodbye in that airport, thinking back on all the fun we'd had that week I thought maybe – _maybe_ – I could see why people did that whole serious relationship thing; why people might _take_ that chance. Freaked me the hell out of course, feeling that, watching you disappearing through security, so I had to get out of there."

Blaine just listened to him speak in stunned silence, his mind buzzing from the sudden overload of information, unable to respond to anything Sebastian said. Mouthing silently as he tried to kick his brain back into any working condition, eventually Sebastian just continued with his rant.

"When I lost my phone and didn't have your number... I was tempted to just let it go, you know? I thought maybe it wasn't worth the effort. You were going back to Kurt and I had to get over... _whatever_ that was I was feeling. It would have been so easy to do, but I _knew_ that it wasn't going to end happily ever after. I _knew_ Kurt would continue to be an ass, even if he did get better for a moment, so I was like... I have to be there for him. Because despite what I'm feeling, despite what it might _cost_ me, above all else we're _friends_ , right?"

And Blaine had no idea how to respond to that question, thrown at him in a voice angry and bitter. It was a tone he'd never heard from Sebastian before and he didn't like it at all, already missing more than he could have imagined possible the light-hearted banter he was familiar with from his friend.

"I don't... I mean... Sebastian... I'm really sorry, I just..."

"Yeah, yeah I know. You love him. I heard you."

For a moment there was silence, Blaine's mind reeling at all he'd learnt, about Sebastian's feelings toward him, the loyalty to their friendship he'd shown despite them... "I... I didn't know how you felt and I guess... I mean... I just wanted to say..."

 _"No!"_ Sebastian's sharp rejection cut him off, and there was anger crackling through his voice now. "Don't you _dare!_ I don't need your sympathy or your _pity_... whatever the _fuck_ you were about to just offer me. I just..." but then his voice trailed off and he was laughing again; that dark laugh that was quickly becoming familiar, and if there was one thing he would have given almost anything to hear again it would have been Sebastian's laugh as it had been that week in London. The carefree, light-hearted laugh of a guy who always looked at the bright side of any situation; always found the silver lining.

Just apparently not this time.

"Sebastian, I–"

But Sebastian, still chuckling, spoke over him. "You know what I just realised, Blaine? We're not friends anymore. I don't have to spare you're feelings, so I'm going to tell you things straight." And taking a deep breath, Sebastian began. "You _are_ going to regret this. I don't know how long it will take and quite honestly I don't care because I'm _not_ waiting around for any of that shit, but eventually you're going to realise you made the wrong choice. Kurt is never going to change. Sure, he will probably always be in love with you, I don't doubt _that_ but at the same time you're waiting for him to change from the person his life has made him – the person you've _let_ him become and I'm sorry but that's never going to happen."

And before he could even _think_ to respond to any of that, Sebastian had hung up, severing their connection and their friendship in one swift moment.

For a long time after he hung up – longer than he cared to admit – Blaine remained seated where he was, phone still to his ear before he slowly pulled it back, locking the screen and setting it on the coffee table in front of him. Still he didn't rise from his seat on the couch, unable to move, barely able to breathe; utterly staggered by his conversation with Sebastian.

And that was where Kurt found him when fifteen minutes later he re-entered the apartment to find out what was keeping him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:** Hi all. Apologies again. You're probably getting sick of hearing that by now, but I really _am_ sorry. I never _mean_ to take this long to reply but life keeps distracting me and before I know it a whole month had gone by. Longer this time.

Anyway, just a quick thanks to everyone who's still stuck with me despite the long break between chapters. Thanks also to those who followed and favourited the story. Special thanks as always to my reviewers. I really love hearing from you guys.

starlightandseaglass: Yeah that last chapter was all kinds of heartbreaking for me. I really wanted Blaine to take the risk and choose to remain friends with Sebastian but didn't think it would feel genuine. Kurt's his fiancé and he's convinced himself he's in love with him so of course Blaine was going to choose him. Really glad you liked it despite the heartbreak though. :)

RHatch89: Agreed. 100%. Blaine can be a real idiot sometimes. Especially in the stories I write.

julia3132: I know, I'm so sorry. I hated writing it as much as you hated reading it, I assure you.

LvSammy: Yeah I felt bad for Blaine too. Poor boy had an awful choice to make. Not a very happy chapter at all really.

Darrinia: Yeah... Blaine really did make a huge mistake. As for the rest of it, I'll leave it for you to find out.

Anyway that's enough from me. You guys have all waited long enough. Please enjoy Chapter 11.

* * *

It took him a lot longer than it really should have to realise that Sebastian had been right all along.

In the end he'd never made it to the dinner with Rachel and Brody, Kurt going alone and passing his apologies on to the other couple. He still wasn't sure exactly what it was that Kurt had told them but he'd received a sympathetic message from Rachel later that evening hoping that he'd be feeling better soon. He supposed it didn't really matter in the end what Kurt told Rachel. He knew she wouldn't hold it against him – certainly if anyone was going to hold it against him it would have been Kurt, but even his fiancé seemed to have let the whole thing go.

Or if not let it go, he at least didn't seem to be planning on bringing it up again.

Of course, that didn't exactly help him work his way through the inevitable emotions that came along afterwards. Initially the utter misery of having lost his friend, the almost crippling sense of disorientation, not to mention of course the sheer incredulity that Sebastian – of all people – had ever harboured feelings like that for anyone, least of all for him. He still had no idea what it was that had drawn the other guy to him in the first place. As far as he could remember, the only things they'd ever really talked about together was his relationship with Kurt.

Of course, once he started thinking about it he quickly realised that wasn't the truth at all. Sure, initially that had been how it had all started, but eventually Sebastian had become the one he'd go to whenever he had something interesting to share. The one person in his life he really felt that he could tell _anything_.

Which of course _should_ have been his first clue.

He supposed his delay was due in great part to Kurt's behaviour towards him after discovering his friendship with Sebastian. Though he'd feared the inevitable backlash; the arguments and accusations, the snide comments, the judgemental silences, instead his fiancé had been attentive, kind, even affectionate since. A surprise really because Kurt in the past had been the very best at holding a grudge.

He supposed, when he allowed himself a moment to think about it, that discovering his fiancé had harboured a close friendship with a man he viewed as one of his greatest rivals without his knowledge had scared Kurt. The realisation perhaps of just how close he had come to losing him scaring him to the point where he'd forcefully changed his behaviour. Behaviour, of course, that until then was something he'd considered perfectly okay.

That probably should have been his second clue.

Still, whatever his motivation, his fiancé was really trying, and although things were definitely nowhere close to the realm of the happiness they'd experienced together in high school, the change was significant enough that, for a while at least, Blaine had considered himself happy. Content.

In the end it had been a chance encounter with a familiar face that had finally allowed him to realise the truth. Not someone he'd ever really expected to see again given the circumstances of their previous (and only) meeting, but despite that and despite the other guy's feelings towards his fiancé, Adam greeted him with a wide and welcoming smile.

"Blaine, hi! Fancy seeing you in this part of town."

"Adam!" Surprised to be seeing the other guy, not to mention surprised that he seemed so pleased to see him, Blaine offered the best smile he could muster under the circumstances. "How've you been since..." and for a moment he floundered, remembering once again the unpleasant situation the last time they'd seen one another. "Since I last saw you?"

Adam didn't seem overly bothered by the memory and just shrugged his shoulders in a way that reminded Blaine – a little uncannily – of Sebastian. "Ah you know. Day to day, am I right? How's school? Kurt once mentioned you attend NYU?"

Blaine nodded with a smile. "Yeah, school's good. I, uh..." and hesitating for a moment, no idea what to say next and with no idea whether Adam really cared exactly what was going on, Blaine just shrugged.

"Sorry... this is a little bit awkward, isn't it? Especially after... you know..."

Blaine nodded, glad that it hadn't been him who'd brought it up. "Yeah. A little." Then, after a brief hesitation, "How'd that go in the end... the play you wrote?"

"Oh, that... Surprising though it might be I actually took your fiancé's advice and got someone else to help write it. Pretty sound advice if you can get past the delivery."

Blaine nodded, watching him in silence a moment before continuing. "I, uh... yeah. I did mention he should try soften that, but you know Kurt..."

Adam chuckled, and surprisingly there was no animosity or anger in the sound. "I do know Kurt, and Kurt... well he always has to be right, doesn't he?" After a brief pause, Adam added, "How are things with you guys these days, anyway? Everything okay?"

Surprised by the question, Blaine just nodded. "Yeah, uh... things are fine. Why wouldn't they be?"

The other guy just shrugged, blue eyes studying him in silence a moment. "I don't know... things just seemed a little strained between you two is all."

"They were at the time, but things are a better now." Blaine was unsure why he felt he could share the information with the guy, but feeling comfortable around Adam in a way he hadn't experienced since...

But he pushed the thought from his mind before it could be completed. He really didn't want to spend the rest of his day miserable, after all.

"Better, huh?" And Adam's eyes wandered over his face as though reading in it everything that had happened. "Are you sure?"

Confused, Blaine just nodded. "Yes I'm sure." And then because he couldn't help his curiosity added, "Why do you ask?"

"Nothing, you just... you look a little sad." Then he laughed quietly. "Of course this is coming from a guy who's met you once in his life, so I could be wrong."

He hesitated, wasn't sure he should really be having this conversation with a guy who wasn't exactly a fan of Kurt's but it had been so long since someone had given him an honest opinion – someone more objective than his fiancé. "No, you're probably right."

Surprised at the sudden and unexpected capitulation, Adam's brows rose slightly on his forehead, before glancing over his shoulder at a building down the street. "You wanna grab a coffee? Talk about it?"

The memory of a conversation with Sebastian flitted through his head at that; talk to a stranger in a coffee shop, ask for an opinion...

But he pushed the thought from his head, knowing already what thoughts of the friendship he'd given up to save his relationship with his fiancé did to him.

"I, uh..."

"No pressure if you don't. It's cool."

But he _did_ , he realised. He really _did_ need someone to talk to about this; someone far removed from the situation. Someone who didn't know who Sebastian Smythe was or what he'd done in the past. Someone truly objective like Sebastian had always tried to be for him.

"Actually I'd love to."

* * *

For a moment after he finished telling Adam his story, the other guy stared at him in amazement, eventually shaking his head with a low whistle. "And he made you give up your friendship with Sebastian, huh? That sounds like Kurt."

Immediately Blaine felt himself go on the defensive. "He didn't _make_ me give it up. He gave me a choice."

Adam however just scoffed. "Gave you a choice. Right." And when he saw the expression on Blaine's face he raised his hands in a defensive gesture. "Don't get me wrong, I bet he did say he was giving you a choice, but he always knew you were going to pick him. Of _course_ you were going to pick him."

He frowned at that. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean, Blaine, is that Kurt knows you well, probably better than most, and Kurt knew full well when he offered you that choice that it wasn't really a choice at all. You would _always_ pick Kurt in that situation. He's your fiancé. You've made a promise to him and you'll move heaven and hell just to keep it. He knows this. What he posed as a question was actually an order."

"But..."

"He told me about it once, back when I'd only just met him," he explained, blue eyes watching the expressions on Blaine's face as if making sure he was paying attention. "How you would do anything – _give up_ anything – for him. At the time I thought it was romantic that he had so much faith in you and that you loved him that much. Now, knowing Kurt as I do... Now I'm not so sure."

Blaine frowned, not liking what he was hearing, but determined to hear Adam out. "What do you mean?"

"I mean he's controlling you. He's forcing what he wants on you and then using the guilt you feel whenever you argue to manipulate you into wanting the same thing. Or at least convincing yourself that you want the same thing, whether you do or not."

"He's _not_ controlling me!" Angry now, Blaine's eyes narrowed at the other guy, beginning to suspect it had been a mistake asking the opinion of someone who disliked Kurt as much as Adam did; who was clearly the exact opposite objective. "He's _not_ manipulating me."

Adam just watched him in silence for a moment, his expression... sad? "He is, actually, and I'm sorry you can't see it." He really did look sorry too, but Blaine was already shaking his head.

"Kurt's not like that. Sure, he's stubborn and we do argue sometimes, but that doesn't mean that he's not supportive of me and my dreams too."

"Really?" Adam's voice was sceptical.

"Really. Kurt loves me and would support me if it was something that I really wanted."

Adam's expression remained sceptical, unconvinced. "And if what you really wanted was – for argument's sake – in Paris." Blaine started at the suggestion, mention of the famous European city bringing thoughts of Sebastian to the front of his mind, but Adam continued like he hadn't noticed. "A once in a lifetime chance to follow your dreams, whatever they might be. Kurt would leave New York for you?"

" _Maybe_ ," Blaine snarked back at him, knowing the minute he said it that it wasn't true. Kurt would never give up his dreams; would insist that he was being unfair or unreasonable if he even suggested it. It had always been that way with Kurt; ever since they'd first met. Kurt's life had always been Kurt's and he wasn't going to share it with anyone. He'd made a little room in it for him, sure, but he'd never had to sacrifice anything for their relationship.

Adam didn't react to his reply, as if it was clear enough to him that Blaine knew he was right. That Kurt would never give up his life here in New York. Not for Blaine. Not for anyone. Instead he leaned forward, blue eyes serious, taking a deep breath. "I want to ask you a question."

He paused then and Blaine, assuming he was waiting for confirmation opened his mouth to reply, only to be silenced a moment later by a small shake of his head.

"I want to ask you a question," Adam repeated. "And I want you to really, _honestly_ think about it before you reply. Hell, you don't even need to reply, but just... think about it for a moment, okay?"

Wary, Blaine hesitated a moment before nodding his head. "Okay."

"Let's say you just got some fantastic news. Like, for example, let's say you were just cast as the lead in the newest Broadway sensation."

"Okay..."

"The minute I mentioned it, the _minute_ you imagined sharing that news with someone, who was it that popped into your head?"

"I don't..."

"You don't have to tell me; don't have to justify yourself in any way. I just want you to think about it."

"I don't have to. It's Kurt. I'd tell Kurt." But he knew it wasn't true, because the minute he'd imagined it, the second Adam had suggested the scenario, it hadn't been Kurt's face that had popped into his head. Instead he'd pictured warm green eyes and the bright flash of a smile.

Sebastian.

"Uh huh." His answer had apparently convinced Adam about as much as it had himself. Then Adam was shaking his head. "Anyway I really should be getting back. It was good to see you, Blaine. Do look after yourself." And Blaine could tell from his tone that he wasn't just talking about his health.

"Yeah... see you later, Adam. Thanks for the coffee." He paused before quickly adding, "And... and for listening to, you know... all of that."

"Yeah, no worries at all."

Watching in silence as the other guy rose to his feet, suddenly those words from Sebastian rose up in his head again, and Blaine was once again reminded of the conversation that felt now like almost a lifetime ago. A stranger. A coffee shop... "Hey Adam?"

The other guy, having turned to go, turned back with an expression of curiosity. "Yeah?"

"After everything I told you, knowing everything that happened between us... if you could describe my relationship with Kurt in one word, what would it be?"

Curious though he might be as to why Blaine might have been asking, Adam let himself consider the question a moment. "If I wasn't trying to spare your feelings?" And when Blaine nodded his confirmation, Adam was silent a long moment. "I don't know... a mistake? Toxic, maybe. Why?"

Toxic.

So Sebastian _had_ been right.

"No reason. Thanks, Adam."

Adam just nodded, hesitating now, hovering around the seat he'd just vacated. "Are you going to be okay?"

He smiled then, not a warm or happy smile, but gratitude shone in his eyes regardless. "Yeah... I think I'm going to be fine."

After another brief pause, Adam returned his smile. "I'm glad to hear it. I'll see you around, Blaine."

"Yeah... see you around, Adam."

* * *

"What do you mean you're leaving?"

Kurt's voice was filled with disbelief, as were his very blue eyes, and for a moment Blaine felt what had now become a familiar ache in his stomach at the thought of everything he was walking away from.

He'd been with Kurt for years after all. He'd been his first – and only – boyfriend. He'd been his first real kiss. Hell, he'd been his first _everything_. Kurt had been everything he'd ever thought he wanted and everything he'd ever thought he would need for the rest of his life.

But Kurt wasn't enough. Not anymore. Sebastian had been right when he'd said his relationship was toxic, because although he was still almost certain the relationship was salvageable, that they could one day return to the way they'd been back in high school, he had come to realise that it simply wasn't what he needed anymore.

Kurt was safe; had always been safe because he was familiar. Even moving halfway across the country to New York hadn't felt like such a big deal because Kurt had been waiting for him when he arrived. He hadn't realised it but over their years together he'd slowly become less and less his own person, and more someone who fit neatly into the life that Kurt had picked out for himself. He hadn't thought about what he _really_ wanted for years now, not until the wake up call he'd been given by a guy who was almost a complete stranger.

And then there was the promise he'd made to Sebastian before he'd severed their friendship for all the wrong reasons; the words his friend had spoken that day were as clear in his mind now as they had been on the day they'd been spoken.

 _"You need to decide what_ you _want, Blaine. Figure that out and then do whatever you have to do to make that happen."_

And so he'd decided to do just that.

It had been hard at first, assessing his life for what he really wanted. He just wasn't used to looking at things that way, always considering others and their feelings when he made his decisions; always keeping Kurt in the back of his mind.

He knew he definitely wanted to continue with his studies. Performance art... that was what he wanted do with his life, what he'd always wanted to do with his life, even before he'd ever met Kurt. That had never changed.

Where he wanted to study was a more difficult decision. He loved New York. He had always loved New York and had always wanted to live and work here. Broadway had been his dream since before he could remember. New York, of course, also had Kurt, as did the school he wanted to attend here – in his opinion the best school in the state. NYADA had been another dream of his, on hold at the moment, but his plans in the past had always included an application to transfer to the school.

Of course, it had been while he'd been thinking of how much he loved New York when, quite out of nowhere, the thought of London had popped back into his mind. London, with its diverse people with their many different and vibrant personalities. The varied architecture – from old to new, traditional to contemporary, art decor to gothic, and everything in between; there was always something new and exciting to look at. And past all that to the feeling of comfort he'd experienced there, like he was exactly where he needed to be.

Of course he'd briefly entertained the idea that he'd only enjoyed it so much because he'd had Sebastian with him; a definite possibility considering his friend's lively personality. Eventually however, he decided that no, it wasn't just Sebastian's company that had made that city so great. It had been a place where he'd come to enjoy the feeling of simply being there. Being in that place – so very far away from his comfort zone – had been invigorating. It was a place he'd really come to love during his brief stay there. The people there didn't know him, didn't expect anything of him. It was a place he could just be himself for what felt like the first time in a really long time.

A place he felt at home.

"I mean I'm leaving." Blaine felt he could probably be clearer, but something about Kurt's expression, a heavy sort of dread settling into it, was making him nervous. "I was accepted into LAMDA. Classes start in the fall."

For a moment Kurt just blinked in surprise. "LAMDA? As in..."

"London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts?" And when Kurt nodded dazedly, Blaine confirmed with another nod. "Yeah, that LAMDA."

"But..." and for a moment Kurt floundered, struggling with his words, his head shaking almost in disbelief, as if he thought this whole thing was some kind of horrible dream. "I thought you were applying to NYADA."

Blaine found himself hesitating then, knowing that his decision wasn't going to be popular, but after everything they'd been through together the last thing he wanted to do was to end it all with a lie. "I did. And I got in."

"Then..."

"I turned them down."

Kurt stared and for a long time Blaine found himself wondering if Kurt was going to get angry. In the past he knew he would have. Kurt would have been furious that he'd made these decisions without involving him.

"But I thought that was what you wanted? Since I met you you've talked about NYADA."

"I know." He took a deep breath. "I guess some things change."

"So let me get this straight. You're moving to London?"

Blaine could almost feel the tension in his voice then, feel it coiled there like a snake ready to strike. "I am, yes."

"But what about..." and he hesitated, blue eyes searching his face. "But what about us?"

It was his turn to hesitate now, because looking into those blue eyes he had loved for years it was all so much harder than he'd ever imagined it would be. "I can't... I mean... we can't..."

Narrowed eyes, Kurt almost snarled his reply. "Is this about Sebastian?"

Understanding why his mind would jump there, nevertheless it hurt when Kurt threw the accusation at him. "No. This has nothing to do with Sebastian. I haven't spoken to him since that night you asked me not to, I promise. I just... I'm not happy here. Not anymore."

Aggression gone, for a moment Kurt just watched him silently, blue eyes searching his own. Blaine wasn't sure if he believed him about Sebastian but for the moment he seemed to be taking him at his word. "Then where is this coming from? I thought you were happy. That _we_ were happy."

"I was comfortable. Content." Blaine shook his head. "It's not the same thing."

Kurt looked dazed; staring at him as though perhaps he'd never seen him before. "But... I mean... you have time, right? Before school starts?" He shot a quick look at the suitcase, packed and ready to go, waiting by the door. "You could stay a while. We could talk about all of this."

But Blaine shook his head, despite the temptation he could feel growing inside him at the idea. He knew – or at least suspected – what Kurt meant by 'talking about it'. He wanted to convince him not to go. To convince him that he was making a mistake. It was something he'd agonised over for weeks during the interview and audition process for LAMDA and the other schools he'd applied to in London, and the very last thing he wanted was for Kurt to convince him that the fear growing inside him at this huge change was right. That he was making a horrible mistake.

Because he wasn't, he was sure of it. And even if he was, it was his mistake to make. His life.

So he shook his head, an apology in his dark eyes. "I'm sorry, Kurt, I can't." And when Kurt opened his mouth again to argue, Blaine continued quickly. "I need to be with my family. I'm leaving the country in a few months. I can't..." but his voice trailed off as words failed him, shrugging helplessly.

"No, it's okay. I get it." Kurt's voice was miserable but resigned.

Blaine just nodded, studying his fiancé's face for a long moment – or ex-fiancé now he supposed – and as the silence lingered, started feeling something horrible and heavy tightening slowly in his stomach.

Eventually, unable to take it any longer, Blaine cleared his throat. "Anyway I should really get going. I, uh..." and looking up at Kurt's face again, seeing the hurt, the heartbreak in those familiar blue eyes, Blaine felt the threat of tears stinging the back of his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Kurt."

And for once Kurt didn't argue, didn't get angry, and instead just nodded. Just a brief, miserable acknowledgment of his apology, and Blaine felt like he might have preferred the anger. At least anger wouldn't have been so hard to walk away from.

Offering him one last smile – faint though it might have been – Blaine stepped past the man who had once meant everything in the world to him, picking up his suitcase and opening the door. For the briefest of moments he hesitated there, the almost irresistible temptation to turn back to look at Kurt tearing him apart from the inside. Pushing it down and away, Blaine forced himself to move, stepping over the threshold – leaving the loft that had been his home for so long for the very last time – and pulling the door closed behind him.

* * *

It didn't take long to say goodbye to all his friends in New York. Turns out he didn't have many of them to begin with; most of those he _did_ have being from school or from his past life in Ohio.

Rachel, of course, expressed her astonishment that he'd ended things with Kurt, never having realised there was anything ever amiss between the two of them. He didn't go into much detail, telling her what little he could get away with – that he'd not been happy for a long time, that it was time for a change – and leaving Kurt to fill in whatever blanks he wanted. After that Rachel had pointed out that out of everyone in his life of course she would be the one missing him the most and insisted he promise to stay in touch. He assured her he would do his very best.

His school friends weren't as surprised that he was going; not knowing Kurt well – if at all – instead they'd seen more the daily effects of Kurt's behaviour in his own. They said it was about time he did something for himself and wished him all the best. They too asked him to stay in touch and once again he assured them he would definitely try.

His last stop surprised even him, calling in at NYADA when he knew Kurt would be elsewhere to say goodbye to Adam. Though the man himself was surprised by the visit he was more than pleased with the decisions he'd made. Mostly, he'd explained, because he had made them for himself. He had wished him all the best for the future and a safe flight home.

And then it was time to leave New York, a bittersweet feeling swimming through him and making his eyes sting once again. Sitting there by himself in the airport, he could never remember a time when he'd felt so very alone. Going back home for a couple of months before leaving behind everything in his life that had ever been familiar... It was a whole new start for him.

A whole new life.

On a whim he pulled out his phone and typed out what was supposed to be a quick text. He wanted to write something important, something that would matter; to apologise, to explain everything. Instead he stared at his phone, his fingers hovering over the keys, until his flight was announced over the PA system and eventually he just hit send on the short text before grabbing his bag and making his way through the airport to his gate.

 _Blaine (5:05pm): I took your advice. You were right._

He wasn't surprised at all when Sebastian never replied.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:** First things first... please don't all die of shock. I know you likely weren't expecting a new chapter for this story for at least another few weeks, but I found myself with quite a bit more time than I expected recently, so used that time to write you guys a new chapter. I hope you all enjoy it.

As always, thanks to everyone who's taken the time to read this story, and special thanks to those who've followed and favourited it, most especially for your patience between chapters. Damn it all if I didn't make you guys wait _ages_ at times. As always, a very special thank you to all my reviewers. I always love hearing from you guys. Thanks so much for taking the time to let me know what you think. It's your encouragement that helps keep me writing. You guys are the best.

RHatch89: Thanks very much. Glad you liked it.

SiverSer: Thanks! I'm glad you liked the first chapter. I hope you continued to enjoy it.

Darrinia: Yeah I admit I was more than a little pleased when I could write that breakup. It was definitely about time in my opinion. As for Adam, I admit I was originally going to have it be a completely random stranger, like Sebastian suggested, but I couldn't see a scenario where Blaine would be able to just open up about everything with a complete stranger. And Adam knew _just_ enough that he could push a little. So Adam became my catalyst.

julia3132: Yeah, Adam was so easygoing in the show I wanted to keep it, and that in turn made it easier for Blaine to open up to him. As for Sebastian's ignoring him, yeah I agree... it would have been far too easy to have him respond to that. Sebastian was very hurt by what Blaine did; it seemed insincere to have him reply immediately.

myescape13: Yep yep. Blaine is free of his toxic relationship at last. I don't know if I would call this reply 'soon' when compared to when I posted the last chapter, but hopefully no hopes were crushed while you waited.

Anyways that's enough from me... please enjoy Chapter 12.

* * *

 **FOUR YEARS LATER**

 _The interviewer opposite him leaned forward in her chair, eyes sparkling. "So we've discovered through extensive research a secret hidden past in New York. Was it true that you were once engaged to your high school boyfriend?"_

 _Blaine laughed at that, shaking his head. "That's neither a secret nor hidden. Yes, I was once engaged when I lived in New York, and yes it was to my high school boyfriend."_

 _"And you gave it all up to live and study in London?"_

 _Blaine's smile softened then and he shook his head. "No. I ended things because it wasn't what I needed anymore. Things change and people change. Sometimes that means people get hurt and I'll always be sorry I hurt him, but this, here... this was the life I wanted."_

 _"A big change then, moving to a brand new country where you didn't know anyone. What made you choose London?"_

 _"I travelled here with a friend once; just for a week, but in that one week I couldn't help but fall in love with this city. I just felt at home here."_

 _"And of course London has the West End."_

 _Blaine laughed at that, nodding. "That too, yes. It had everything that I wanted."_

 _"And this friend you travelled with? What happened to him?"_

 _Blaine hesitated then, just briefly but long enough that it was clear enough to all who watched that it was a sensitive subject. "As far as I know, he still lives in Paris. We... lost touch after that trip."_

 _Like any good interviewer would sensing a juicy story, the woman opposite him pounced. "Do I sense some drama there? Maybe a scandal in scandal-free Blaine Anderson's past?"_

 _And Blaine laughed at that, honestly couldn't help himself. "Scandal? No, nothing like that. Maybe a little drama. We lost touch. Suffice it to say that it was entirely my fault and I've regretted it ever since it happened, but unfortunately that's just life. Sometimes you make mistakes and you can't take them back. Sometimes you just have to learn from them."_

 _"And what did you learn from that one?"_

 _Blaine just smiled again, warmth in his expression this time as he thought back fondly on the friend he'd missed every day since their friendship had ended over four years before. "I learnt that sometimes you have to listen to the people around you; that sometimes they see more than you do. I learnt that sometimes you need to take risks in order to be happy; that the easy decision isn't always the right one. And I learnt that sometimes you have to think with your heart and not your head; that the decisions we feel are right, more than those we think are right, are usually the ones that'll make us happier in the end."_

 _"That's quite a few life lessons learnt from that one mistake."_

 _Blaine nodded with a smile then. "He always was good for advice... even though he liked to pretend otherwise." He shrugged lightly. "It makes sense his absence would continue that trend."_

 _"Speaking of advice, if you had anything to say to the youth of this country or your own who want a life in the theatre, what advice would you offer them?"_

 _"The best advice I've ever been given was probably that when it comes to happiness in life, you need to decide what you want. Figure that out and then do whatever you have to do to make that happen."_

 _His interviewer smiled at that. "Great advice." Turning to the camera, she smiled. "You can see Blaine Anderson at West End's Piccadilly Theatre this Friday night for the debut..."_

"Oh Christ you're not watching that shit again, are you?"

Jeremy Clarke turned with a grin as Blaine shut the door behind him with his foot, balancing take out trays in his arms as he made his way through their small apartment.

"What do you mean 'again'? This is only the second–"

"Don't lie to me."

"... fourth time I've seen it. What's the big deal?"

Blaine just shook his head as he deposited the takeout containers onto the table, sparing only the briefest glance at the TV as the recording ended. "It was just an interview. Not a big deal."

Jeremy's brows shot up. "Not a big deal? _Dude!_ You've just landed a lead in a West End musical and you think it's not a big deal? You're like... top shit around here now, Anderson. Live with it."

When Blaine just ignored the comment, Jeremy laughed, springing to his feet and helping him unpack dinner. "Besides... everyone and their dog wants to know the identity of this mysterious friend. The one who gives such great advice. Pretty sure half the country thinks you're still in love with the guy."

Blaine shot him a dry look. "Half the country? Please. Less than half the country _watch_ that show, so I find that highly unlikely."

"So I exaggerate," Jeremy shrugged. "The point still stands."

"Well it's no mystery. I'm not 'still in love with him', because I never _was_ in love with him," Blaine explained as he grabbed a pair of forks from the kitchen before taking a seat at the table. "And besides, I've told you all about Sebastian before. He's no 'secret, mystery guy' or anything quite so romantic."

Jeremy nodded, taking a fork from Blaine as he seated himself across the table. "Yeah I remember you mentioning him now. Huh. And here I was plotting romances in my head. I was even starting to get a little jealous."

Blaine shot him a grin. "Oh I could never replace you, I promise." And when Jeremy started to smile, Blaine added, "Because your really very... _unique_."

"I was about to say... that sounded almost mushy. You, Anderson, don't _do_ mushy." He paused a moment. "Honestly though, I haven't heard you romanticise anyone like that before. Sebastian must've been more important than I realised." He chuckled. "Better hope he doesn't see that interview. He'll think you're still in love with him."

"Christ, I was never in _love_ with Sebastian. We were friends."

" _Good_ friends, I'm sure."

"Yes _good_ friends, but not in the way you meant it. Sebastian was..." and he hesitated a moment. "He was important."

Jeremy just watched his face for a long moment before offering a quick shrug. "Well regardless, the majority of those who watched the interview think you're in love with the guy."

"And I'm really sure that's just you," Blaine pointed out. "And no more watching that stupid interview. It's putting wild ideas in your head. She caught me by surprise with the question, that's all."

"No promises," and when Blaine looked at him with exasperation, Jeremy shook his head. "What? I'm not allowed to be proud of you? I know how hard you worked to get that part, and how much work you've put in to make it happen."

Blaine waved the praise away. "It still feels weird. Please can we delete it?"

"Nope," and stubbornly Jeremy shook his head. "Not happening. It's your first interview for your first big part. This, Anderson, is history. We are keeping it forever."

* * *

Jeremy, true to his word, made copies of the recording, saving them on USB sticks and keeping copies all over the place. Obviously he didn't trust him not to delete the thing, which Blaine would admit he'd been tempted to do on more than one occasion after Jeremy's sixth time watching the bloody thing.

Fact of the matter was it made him feel uncomfortable. He wasn't the kind of guy that basked in attention; he hadn't been for a _long_ time and being in the centre spotlight now felt more than a little awkward. It was always easier when around his fellow castmates of course, since he was in the same boat as they were. Being a part of one of the most highly anticipated upcoming productions on the West End had thrust them all into the spotlight together; quite unexpectedly too.

Their small production had always been just that. Small. It hadn't been a big deal when he'd joined the cast. It had just been a musical put together by two newcomers to the industry that had caught his eye. Originally meant to be a small production held off the West End, previews had garnered a lot attention until the producer had announced on their return to London that he would be looking into booking a West End theater instead.

It had changed their lives overnight.

"Don't forget to pace yourself, Anderson. We all know what you get like with a few too many beers in you."

Blaine shot a playful glare at Ella, his fellow lead, who'd had to help Jeremy maneuver him into a cab one night after he'd celebrated their upcoming production just a little too much. "I'm being careful, I promise." Then after a quick glance around at the assembled, he offered a rueful shrug and a smile. "Then again I think we're all going to have to be a little careful tonight."

"Rehearsals are so _early_ tomorrow." Christian whined, doing his very best to look as dejected as he could whilst slouched comfortably across the low couch behind them with a beer dangling from the fingers of one hand. "I swear to God that Stuart is trying to kill us."

"The morning of his West End debut? There's no way," Bobbi pointed out with a flick of her blonde head. "Not even Stuart is _that_ sadistic."

"He's been a nightmare since he booked the theatre," Blaine pointed out with a nod, taking a brief swallow of his beer as he considered that a moment. "Likely it's just nerves, but if he doesn't stop stepping on Tony's toes, he's going to snap." Their director Tony wasn't a hardass by any definition of the word, but even he had his limits and it was clear that their producer was pushing them.

"Has anyone else considered how ridiculous its going to sound if Tony wins a Tony?"

Bobbi rolled her eyes "Only, you know, _every_ single time you've mentioned it before." She hit him playfully on the arm and although it was obvious it had been light tap, Christian reacted as if she'd put her full weight behind it, rubbing his arm with a pained expression.

"God you're a violent little thing aren't you?"

"Only around you. You inspire it in me."

"Guys, guys, guys," Ella spoke then, and when everyone turned to focus on her, she offered them all a wide grin. "Here's to us," and she lifted her beer in a toast, the others quickly following suit, Christian jumping to his feet to join them. "To tomorrow and to the greatest damn musical to hit the West End in years."

"To us!" They all chorused back. Only moments later of course they were all jumping back with cries of dismay when Christian, after a somewhat overenthusiastic toast, lost his grip on his beer and dropped it, the sticky liquid sloshing out of the mostly full bottle and splashing over their shoes.

 _"Christian!"_

Retrieving the bottle, Christian attempted to look contrite. "I'm sorry! I didn't _mean_ to drop it. Duh."

"Okay, that's it. You're officially cut off," Blaine offered with a shake of his head, tugging the now mostly empty beer bottle from his friend's hands. "We need you to be able to _remember_ your lines tomorrow."

"Come on, Anderson. I'm not _that_ drunk."

"Really?" And he shook the bottle a little. "So then what number is this?"

Christian thought about for a second. "Uh... only the third. No wait, the fourth... I think?"

"No more for you." And Blaine reached around the guy to toss the beer in the trash, Christian trying to intercept it but failing when he overbalanced, stumbling into Blaine and having to catch himself on the back of the couch.

After a moment's thought he nodded. "Okay you might be right."

"You know we should all probably call it." Bobbi pointed out, glancing around at the group. "As Christian pointed out earlier, we do have to be at the theatre super early tomorrow and we really _shouldn't_ be drunk or hungover for our first performance."

"You're not wrong," Ella agreed with a nod. "Stuart and Tony would team up and kill us together. You guys wanna share a cab? Blaine?"

But Blaine just shook his head. "No you guys go on. Jeremy's finishing up in like five minutes. I'll just catch a ride home with him."

"No worries. See you tomorrow, Anderson."

"Bright and early," he chimed back, grinning when he heard a quiet groan from Christian as his castmates shepherded him out the door.

Making his way through the small room he took a seat at the bar, offering a quick wave when Jeremy looked up and caught his eye.

Finishing up with the customer he'd been chatting with, Jeremy made his way down the bar, leaning on it as he glanced left and right. "Your friends take off already? Was it something I said?"

Blaine shook his head with a smile. "No, nothing you said. Just an early morning tomorrow."

"Ah yes. You did mention that." He glanced around at the mostly empty bar. "Well won't be too much longer here. They're not likely to need me to stay back later, so I shouldn't keep you waiting too long." Then he grinned. "Though if you're looking to kill some time, the hottie at the end of the bar was asking about you earlier."

Blaine, curious, spared the stranger a quick glance, admitting to himself that Jeremy was right; the guy was more than attractive, with thick, wavy dark hair and bright hazel-brown eyes. Despite that, Blaine shook his head. "I'm fine waiting here."

"Of course you are," Jeremy answered with something of a scoff. "You know it's been, what... four years since you ended your engagement. About time you at least started _browsing_ for someone new."

"I think you _'browse'_ enough for the both of us."

Jeremy just answered with a grin and shrug, hardly about to argue the truth of that. He knew what he was and he wasn't ashamed of it. "All I'm saying, Anderson, is that perhaps it's time you move on. Seriously. What are you waiting for?"

"I..." and Blaine hesitated, because it was something he'd been asked before and something he'd never really found a suitable answer for. "Don't know."

"Of course you don't," Jeremy replied sagely, as if he was some kind of know-it-all guru on this point. "Because you haven't been out there. Experienced everything London has to offer. Maybe if you did you'd have a better idea of exactly what it is you're waiting for."

"Or maybe, like you, I _still_ wouldn't be able to decide."

"Touché, Anderson." Jeremy shook his head then, dark eyes considering his friend for a long moment. "You know if you're looking to replace him, you're never going to be happy. You know that, right?"

Startled by the comment, Blaine looked over at his roommate in surprise. "Sorry?"

"Your fiancé," Jeremy elaborated. "You're never going to find someone to replace him. That's not how relationships work."

"Oh," and Blaine felt himself relax, though he wasn't one hundred percent sure what he'd been worried Jeremy was about to say. "Well I'm not looking to replace Kurt, I'm just focusing on my career right now. And I have to admit it _is_ going well, so maybe I'll look into _'browsing'_ as you say and finding someone soon. But for right now, I'm happy as I am."

"Sure, sure. But think about how much happier you'll be after organising some alone time with _him_ ," and Jeremy gestured to the handsome guy at the end of the bar with enough flamboyance that it caught the guy in question's attention. Moments later the man had risen to his feet and was making his way down the bar.

"You really are the _worst_ ; you know that right?"

"You'll thank me later," Jeremy offered with a grin as he disappeared back down the bar, offering a quick nod to the other man as he approached.

"Sorry about my friend," Blaine apologised as he arrived at his side. "Subtlety isn't really his thing."

* * *

It hadn't really turned out so badly despite, or maybe _because_ of Jeremy's meddling. Wyatt – the name of the handsome stranger – had been an interesting enough companion, recently moved to London from some small town up north, the name of which he struggled to remember, and having more than his fair share of relocation dramas that Blaine could definitely relate to. On top of that, he had to admit that he'd always been quick to appreciate the northern accent in a man, and found himself struggling against that side of him that insisted he wasn't in any rush to meet someone.

In the end he'd settled for exchanging numbers with Wyatt and assuring him he'd call sometime in the future. It was the best he could do for now, which unfortunately left him open for a whole slough of advice from his roommate on the drive home about follow through and taking chances, followed by an inquiry as to where the hell the 'taking risks' Blaine Anderson from the interview he loved so bloody much had disappeared to.

He'd replied, of course, that 'taking risks Blaine Anderson' was taking the night off, given his early morning practice. Because of _course_ he hadn't let Wyatt take him home the night before his very first performance on the West End.

Jeremy had shut up after that, obviously taking his point, instead turning his attention to asking endless questions about Wyatt himself, quizzing Blaine for all the information he could remember from their brief conversation, and then later for his impressions on the guy; what he'd personally thought about the kind of person he was. By the time they'd gotten home, Blaine had already pressed the napkin with the man's phone number into his sheepish roommate's hands before stumbling to bed fully clothed.

* * *

The next morning flew by faster than Blaine would have liked. He had time only for a quick coffee before he and his fellow castmates were chivvied onto the stage, both Stuart and Tony forcing them to repeat time and again words and lyrics that already knew by heart.

None of them took it personally, of course. They were all feeling the same nerves as the opening time of their performance drew ever nearer.

Blaine found that, where in the past he'd always felt comfortable on the stage, in this instance he was definitely feeling just a little anxious. This was different, and at the same time wasn't; confident (because this was what he _did_ ) and nervous (because it was the West End and a _big_ deal) in equal parts, Blaine wasn't one hundred percent sure what he was feeling at any given moment of the day.

He could tell the rest of the cast were feeling the same. With the exception of some members of the chorus, they were all newcomers to the stages of the West End so it was only natural to feel the tension, regardless of how often everyone around you insisted that it was all going to be okay.

In fact, Blaine felt that people telling you it would be okay was the exact opposite of helpful right now. He could swear it was only making him feel even worse.

Still, despite all of the nerves and the subtle sick feeling lingering in the pit of his stomach, the performance went off without a hitch, the applause from the audience deafening as he stood together with his fellow castmates on the stage, taking their final bows, and he found he couldn't stop himself from grinning. Honestly. It was quite literally _stuck_ on his face. And _Christ_ his cheeks were _really_ starting to hurt.

And then it was over, the curtains falling shut one final time and he felt his whole body relax, weariness slamming into him from all sides.

He found himself fighting the urge to yawn.

"Not done yet, Anderson.

Looking up in surprise, he caught Ella's wide grin. "Huh?"

"Stage door, doofus. Your fans are waiting to meet you."

He hadn't forgotten of course. He knew the theatre. Had been to many shows himself and had always taken the time to meet the cast afterwards at the stage door. It was where he'd developed his love of the theatre; where he'd asked the greats of the stage for their advice for someone just starting out. But when he thought about being on the other side of that conversation... well no pressure, right?

"You mean _our_ fans are waiting to meet _us_ , right?" he asked with a raised brow, to which she just shrugged.

"Maybe. But don't be coy. You know you're the star of this show. And after that interview, everyone and his dog is dying to meet you."

Blaine frowned. "Wait... I thought you were going to be out that night. That you weren't going to get a chance to..." but the answer came to him even as he spoke and he groaned. "Bloody Jeremy. He gave you a copy, didn't he?"

Another grin. "He did. Bless his heart, that boy is so proud of you." She paused a moment then, thinking. "You know..."

"No." And he shook his head. "No. Don't you dare go there."

"But you don't know what I was going to say."

"Yes I do actually," he explained. "You were going to say what everyone who meets the two of us says. That there might be something there. But there isn't, Ella. We really are nothing more than friends. Just because we're two gay guys living together doesn't mean we should be dating."

"He's bi, actually."

"I... what?"

She just shrugged, her expression suggesting she was just a little embarrassed to be admitting this. "What? I was drunk and you have to admit it. The boy is hot."

For a moment Blaine just stared at her in amazement, before shaking his head and dismissing it all seconds later.

Not his problem.

"Stage door. Got it. I'm going to go change. See you there."

* * *

In the end it wasn't as scary as he'd imagined it. There were lots of questions, naturally. Nothing too hard of course; just the normal questions one might have expected from fans of the theatre. Did you always know you wanted to work in theater? _Yes I did._ What would you say to someone who wanted to do the same? _It's a lot of hard work getting this far. Just be prepared for that, and don't give up._ Could I please pretty please get a hug? _Sure, of course. Not a problem at all._

It continued much the same, his castmates fielding a few of the questions as they signed the playbills handed to them and chatted with their fans. It didn't take long at all for him to really get into it, enjoying these people and just how easy they were to chat with; as if they all belonged to the same extended family and were at some big family reunion. Like spending time with friends he hadn't seen in a long time.

Which of course only brought a thought of Sebastian to the forefront of his mind, a feeling of wistful nostalgia filling him when at the exact same moment he felt his phone vibrate in the pocket of his coat.

Fishing it out mid-conversation, his words trailed off as he read the short message he received.

 _Unknown (10:37pm): You were amazing tonight._

He must've been staring at it for quite a while because the next thing he realised a few of those gathered around him were asking if everything was okay.

He nodded, quickly shoving his phone back into the pocket of his coat, determined to figure it out later and hating the way a long absent hollow feeling suddenly opened up in his stomach when he realised who – for just a brief moment – he'd desperately hoped it was from.

"Blaine?" It was Ella's voice then breaking into his thoughts.

"I'm fine. Everything's..." But his voice trailed off again, his eyes having quickly scanned the crowd, sweeping over the sea of faces around him before catching on a lone figure leaning against a lamppost a short distance down the street. "I, uh..." he felt breathless and a little unsteady, finding his hands were gripping the barrier separating the cast and their fans a little tighter than he realised. Because that man, presently leaning against the lamppost with all the casual grace born to so very few, looked almost exactly like...

But no. Of course it wasn't. It couldn't be. There was no _way_ he was here right now. It just wasn't possib...

But then the man looked up from his phone and familiar green eyes met his across that short distance and he realised that apparently it _was_ possible.

Almost automatically he released the barrier he'd been gripping, slipping through it and waving Ella off when she made to grab the back of his coat. "I'll be back in a sec."

Dazed – still in shock, he supposed – he made his way through the crowd that parted around him, barely conscious of the eyes of everyone on his back as he came to a stop before the tall man he'd honestly never thought he'd see again.

Seeing him now... well he hadn't changed much. Sure, he looked a little older perhaps, but his eyes were still that same warm green; his smile still that odd quirk pulling at one corner of his mouth.

 _"Sebastian...?"_ he breathed out, disbelief ringing through his voice, as if the fact that he was there was utterly impossible.

Which of _course_ it was.

Because he wasn't. He couldn't be. This _had_ to be some kind of dream, right? Any second he would wake up, he was sure of it.

But he didn't wake up; instead Sebastian's smile just widened infinitesimally at his reaction, his green eyes sparkling in amusement.

"Hey you."


End file.
